For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

 

Men are like....

 

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like....Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ......Weather .... Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like .......Blenders.... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like .... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ..... Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature

9. Men are like .....Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ....Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like ..Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like ..... Parking Spots .......... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

 

 

Enjoy girls

Q. Why is it good that there are female astronauts?

A. When the crew gets lost in space, at least women will ask for directions.

 

Q. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?

A. So men can understand them.

:bow: :bow: :bow: great one girl

What's easier to make: a snowman or a snowwoman? A snowwoman is

easier to make, 'cause with a snowman you have to hollow out the head

and pack all that extra snow into balls to make its testicles.

 

 

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock

the penises off the smart ones.

 

 

 

best stop now will get banned!!

Why did the house wife stare at the orange juice?

cos it said concentrate on the carton.

 

Why do women have legs?

have you seen the mess snails make :x:

Why do women have small feet??

 

So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink :rofl:

A blind man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink and says to the bar tender "do you want to hear my dumb blonde joke?"

 

The bar goes quiet, then from beside him he hears, "mate I think I had best tell you the bar maid is blonde," in a deep gruff voice.

 

"The bouncer on the door is blonde, beside you is a blonde fire woman, beside me is a 220 pound blonde female lumberjack, and I am also blonde. So before you carry on you might want to ask yourself, do i really want to tell the joke"

 

The blind man stops and thinks for a moment then says,

 

"No, not if I have to explain it five times" :rofl:

why does my woman ring me up to tell me she has sent me e-mail ?

So glad I'm not blond or a bimbo. Red heads rule :D :hyper:

 

MMMM it takes a red headed woman to get a dirty job done ;)

 

 

Don't worry I'm just a normal Penise with a man attached. :rofl: :rofl: