if a colleague looks very sexy today what can i say that would make her laugh. :cool: . like email her.

Just say "big fat penguin" if she asks what you are on about reply "no idea, but it broke the ice!!"

THATS why your single

 

pmsl :rofl:

 

Not officially but close enough lol

You could always just tell her you would like to have sex with her and cut all that horseing around right out.

If she turns you down just call her a lesbian and tell her you didnt like her anyway you just felt sorry for her :dance: :x:

Try not to tell her that you have a girlfriend though mate :x:

Just ask her the last time she saw an elephant. you know what ta do.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Just say "big fat penguin" if she asks what you are on about reply "no idea, but it broke the ice!!"

 

thats awesome. im guna try that on holiday next week! :bow:

Go over to her and ask what the special occasion is as shes looking damn fine, if theres no special occasion it dont matter cause at least she knows she got your attention, be prepared to carry on the conversation after the opener though as if shes interested she will want you to.

 

Or

 

Ask her if she wants a shag , if she answers no ask her if she minds lying down whilst you have some fun

say "**** me if i'm wrong, but isn't your name gretchen?" :D

i only looked at this thread to see CRAIG DAVIDS reply..........i'll look again later.....

i only looked at this thread to see CRAIG DAVIDS reply..........i'll look again later.....

 

 

yup not a crack pipe in sight on this thread so far ;)

i only looked at this thread to see CRAIG DAVIDS reply..........i'll look again later.....

 

:rofl:

Oh.... the pressure's on now, the pressure's on..... I'll think of something.....

use what i did when i met the missus

 

ask her if she fancys sumthing to eat, if she says she tell her she can have ANY meal she wants.

 

then take her Mcdonalds

 

her face will be a picture lol

say "'scuse me love, do you know what the time is?" (make sure there are no clocks visible)

 

when she says "no", say "then can you help me turn my penis into a clock?"

 

when she looks at you as if to say "what the f**k?"

 

say "don't worry, just put two hands and a face on it!"

 

I find this sometimes works.......:D

 

Disclaimer:- some or all of this post may not be true

Best I can come up with is part of GLC's 'Sex Rap'.

 

Approach her and do a few yo-yo-yo Tim-Westward hand gestures and rap this to her. The last line's particularly well crafted. You should be well in:

 

 

i met Miss Argos up Voodoo(?)

i bought her three pints and she fuked me in the loo

her name's Jolene, she's a dirty bitch

i fuked her twice, she made my cock itch

 

i knows this bird, she's into bum love

she pulled the skin so hard, she pulled it off like a glove

yeah, i know the one you mean, she's a dirty slag

she only fuked me so she could smoke the rest of my fag

 

i was pumping this bird in the back of my car

she was screaming really loads and my penis was hard

i started screaming and she did too

next thing i know we're covered in crazy sticky glue

 

'what is this stuff?', i asked her about

and she said, 'don't matter' and started to shout

it again and again and she loves to drink it up

she likes to eat it mostly when it's coagulated in a cup

Best I can come up with is part of GLC's 'Sex Rap'.

 

Approach her and do a few yo-yo-yo Tim-Westward hand gestures and rap this to her. The last line's particularly well crafted. You should be well in:

 

 

i met Miss Argos up Voodoo(?)

i bought her three pints and she fuked me in the loo

her name's Jolene, she's a dirty bitch

i fuked her twice, she made my cock itch

 

i knows this bird, she's into bum love

she pulled the skin so hard, she pulled it off like a glove

yeah, i know the one you mean, she's a dirty slag

she only fuked me so she could smoke the rest of my fag

 

i was pumping this bird in the back of my car

she was screaming really loads and my penis was hard

i started screaming and she did too

next thing i know we're covered in crazy sticky glue

 

'what is this stuff?', i asked her about

and she said, 'don't matter' and started to shout

it again and again and she loves to drink it up

she likes to eat it mostly when it's coagulated in a cup

 

fpmsl :wack:

tell her you have telekinetic powers & bet her £1 you can make her tits move without touching them - have a good rub & give her the pound!! :D

 

mmmmm....now why oh why didnt I try that b4

Best I can come up with is part of GLC's 'Sex Rap'.

 

Approach her and do a few yo-yo-yo Tim-Westward hand gestures and rap this to her. The last line's particularly well crafted. You should be well in:

 

 

i met Miss Argos up Voodoo(?)

i bought her three pints and she fuked me in the loo

her name's Jolene, she's a dirty bitch

i fuked her twice, she made my cock itch

 

i knows this bird, she's into bum love

she pulled the skin so hard, she pulled it off like a glove

yeah, i know the one you mean, she's a dirty slag

she only fuked me so she could smoke the rest of my fag

u never let us down!!!!! :dance: :smash:

i was pumping this bird in the back of my car

she was screaming really loads and my penis was hard

i started screaming and she did too

next thing i know we're covered in crazy sticky glue

 

'what is this stuff?', i asked her about

and she said, 'don't matter' and started to shout

it again and again and she loves to drink it up

she likes to eat it mostly when it's coagulated in a cup

you never let us down :bow:

ok this is the one just say this

"Hi the name's Bound Uni Bound im here to fill ya crack"

Throw a brick at her and laugh as it smashes her skull open. Works a treat.

 

Is that how it's done in Essex these days??? :x:

 

Richard :tongue:

How about asking her "Do you have a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants!!"

 

Or you could just ask "Do you have an interview today, you're looking better/smarter/etc than usual"

 

Richard :tongue:

Or "Was your dad a meat thief? Because it's like he took two fine hams and put them down the back of your dress."

 

 

 

Kind of a play on the stars thing.....

 

Or you could just ask "Do you have an interview today, you're looking better/smarter/etc than usual"

 

Richard :tongue:

 

lol, thus implying that she generally looks like a bag of shite tied up in the middle!?

Tell her She's Got spanner eyes !!

 

When u look into them it makes your Nuts go tight!!

 

 

Worked for me :x:

 

 

Nick