1. George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."
Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"
The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."
2. George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate all the stupid jokes people make about me." Cheney reassured him by saying, "Jokes can't hurt you. They are just made up by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I'll show you what I mean."
Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, "Please take me to 261 M street to see if I'm home, " said Cheney.
Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang the doorbell, came back to the car and said, "Oh, I guess I'm not there! Take us back to where we started, please."
The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to Dubya, "You get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don't worry about their opinions!"
Bush said, "Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better." Then he winked and whispered, "Hooboy, was he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He should have realized you could have called instead!
3. Bush and Powell are slaving in the hot sun digging a hole while Rice is sitting under a tree drinking iced tea. Bush says to Powell, "hey, how come we're out here sweating and she's over there relaxing"? Powell shrugs and says "I dunno George why don't you go ask her." Bush climbs out of the hole he's been digging and wanders over to Rice and says "Me and Colin want to know why we're workin' our butts off and you're relaxing under this tree". "Well George", Rice says, "it's like this."
"You ever heard of a thing called Smarts"? "Smarts", George says, "what's that"? Rice says, "Here I'll show you how it works". "Now I'll hold my hand up in front of this tree and you punch it as hard as you can, okay?" Bush sensing a great ooportunity eagerly agrees. He gathers all of his strength and punches with all of his might but Rice moves her hand just in time for George to bust his on the tree. "Now you understand how Smarts works George" Rice asks.
"Gheeez", Bush replies, "that's pretty neat". Swelling with confidence Bush goes back to his hole and tells Powell, "hey, this is neat, the reason we're working is because of a thing called Smarts". "Smarts"' Powell says. "What's that." Bush replies, "now I'll hold my hand up in front of my face and you...
1. George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."
Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"
The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."
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2. George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate all the stupid jokes people make about me." Cheney reassured him by saying, "Jokes can't hurt you. They are just made up by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I'll show you what I mean."
Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, "Please take me to 261 M street to see if I'm home, " said Cheney.
Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang the doorbell, came back to the car and said, "Oh, I guess I'm not there! Take us back to where we started, please."
The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to Dubya, "You get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don't worry about their opinions!"
Bush said, "Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better." Then he winked and whispered, "Hooboy, was he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He should have realized you could have called instead!
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3. Bush and Powell are slaving in the hot sun digging a hole while Rice is sitting under a tree drinking iced tea. Bush says to Powell, "hey, how come we're out here sweating and she's over there relaxing"? Powell shrugs and says "I dunno George why don't you go ask her." Bush climbs out of the hole he's been digging and wanders over to Rice and says "Me and Colin want to know why we're workin' our butts off and you're relaxing under this tree". "Well George", Rice says, "it's like this."
"You ever heard of a thing called Smarts"? "Smarts", George says, "what's that"? Rice says, "Here I'll show you how it works". "Now I'll hold my hand up in front of this tree and you punch it as hard as you can, okay?" Bush sensing a great ooportunity eagerly agrees. He gathers all of his strength and punches with all of his might but Rice moves her hand just in time for George to bust his on the tree. "Now you understand how Smarts works George" Rice asks.
"Gheeez", Bush replies, "that's pretty neat". Swelling with confidence Bush goes back to his hole and tells Powell, "hey, this is neat, the reason we're working is because of a thing called Smarts". "Smarts"' Powell says. "What's that." Bush replies, "now I'll hold my hand up in front of my face and you...
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: