I'm new here, but from what i've seen, there seems to be a lot of (friendly?) banter regarding the whole "Us & Them" scenario....

 

why not arrange a meet on "level ground" ie. the midlands (sorry for calling you that).

 

Then the subject can be discused like gentlemen, failing that, possibly decided by competitions arranged ammacably by both sides......

 

EG:

 

"Who ate all 20 pies?"

"How many jellied eels in 1 set of Y-fronts"

"Fastest round the car park in lancashire mill clogs"

"Are 180's possible in suvern Z's)

 

Suggestions?

 

 

[This message has been edited by northernmonkey (edited 21-02-2002).]

 

[This message has been edited by northernmonkey (edited 21-02-2002).]

Who used to hang Chimps thinking they were French Intelligence Spies??? ROB!!! ROFLMFAO

 

Originally posted by northernmonkey:

EG:

 

"Who ate all 20 pies?"

(edited 21-02-2002).]

 

We all know us Wiganers eat all the pies.

Local joke if you are lost

Originally posted by northernmonkey:

 

EG:

 

"Who ate all 20 pies?"=Tooley

"How many jellied eels in 1 set of Y-fronts"=Johnny if he removed the 6 pairs of socks he keeps in there he would get 457876543 eels

"Fastest round the car park in lancashire mill clogs"=Robb with me chasing the cheeky git

"Are 180's possible in suvern Z's)=NO because they drive like fannys

 

Suggestions?

 

 

 

 

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Well I suppose it would do the Northerners good to go half way towards civilisation !!

 

And if they're up for it then all this can be tested in Brum at Easter.

EASTER MEET:

 

Solihull (Birmingham - West Midlands)

 

30 March 2002

 

Details in the events section.

 

More news coming up shortly!

 

 

Danny

News from "The North" ! - well fairly North anway ...

 

 

As you may know, Manchester will be hosting the Commonwealth games next

July. What you may not know is that many of the famous events, which go to

make up this spectacular, have been especially altered for Manchester. A

copy of these changes has been leaked, and is reproduced below.

 

OPENING CEREMONY

The flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of Salford,

in the traditional dress of balaclava and rockports. The flame will be

contained in a large overturned police van situated on the roof of the

stadium.

 

THE EVENTS

In previous Commonwealth games, Manchester's competitors have not been

particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the

events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local athletes as

follows:

 

100 METRES SPRINT

Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and microwave oven (one in

each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be

released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.

 

110 METRES HURDLES

As above but with added obstacles (i.e. car bonnets, hedges, garden

fences, walls etc)

 

HAMMER

Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use

(claw, sledge etc). The winner will be the one who can cause the most

physical damage within three attempts.

 

FENCING

Entrants will be asked to dispose of as many stolen goods as possible in 5

minutes.

 

SHOOTING

A strong challenge is expected from local men in this event. The first

target will be a moving police van. In the second round, competitors will

aim at a post office clerk bank teller or securicor style wages

deliveryman. The traditional .22 rifle has been replaced in this event by

a choice of either a Browning automatic handgun or sawn-off 12-bore shotgun

 

BOXING

Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will

take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager

while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The

bout will then commence.

 

CYCLING TIME TRIALS

Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take

an expensive mountain bike owned by some poor guy on his first trip away

from home. All against the clock.

 

CYCLING PURSUIT

As above, but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the

Australian rugby team, who will witness the theft.

 

MODERN PENTATHLON

Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering, flashing, joyriding and

arson.

 

SWIMMING EVENTS

All waterways are currently being tested for toxicity levels, once one is

found that can support human life, swimming events will be organised.

Please note that the Synchronised Swimming event for this year will

comprise of dropping acid and watching all the funky ripples on the pool,

the specific musical support to this event will be provided by "The Verve"

 

THE MARATHON

A safe route has yet to be decided.

 

MEN'S 50KM WALK

Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot

guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Manchester,

especially anyone that appears to be mincing....

 

THE CLOSING CEREMONY

Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of the

Salford Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock

throwing, and music by the Stockport community choir. The flame will be

extinguished by police riot water cannon following the inevitable pitch

invasion by confused Man United organised hooliganism club. The stadium

itself will then be boarded up before the local athletes break into it and

remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler.

 

Late News:

Apparently Liverpool were set to put in a bid very similar to the above but

with the Pentathlon modified to include: killing a spouse, digging a hole,

burying the body, laying a patio and the strangely named 'Calm Down'

contest. To guarantee the entry of any Mancunian athletes at all, Drugs

testing has been waived this year.

 

LMFAO!

And meanwhile in the South There will be a Shandy drinking competition,egg and spoon championships,sack race, a jolly dance around the maypole,lets talk about headlamp bulbs for the longest,O and lets check the map out to see if there is anything North of Watford !

 

------------------

Middle ground, Birmingham!!!. Us Southerners regard anything outside the Nothern bit of the M25 as the North of England.

 

Come on Macca, we all know there's stuff north of Watford, but there's probably only hills and Scots north of Watford Gap !!

 

What did they build the M1 for anyway ? It's doesn't go anywhere does it !!

Originally posted by AndyP:

 

What did they build the M1 for anyway ? It's doesn't go anywhere does it !!

Andy that only applies if you are heading Southbound Mate !

 

 

 

------------------

Rubbish, it takes you directly to London's orbital carpark - the M25 !

ROFLMFAO

 

You guys crack me up!!! Still laughing now!!!