British to American Automotive Terms Dictionary

 

arse=dealer

bloody arse=service department guy

bleedin' arse=parts guy

bloody bleedin' arse=service technician

bit of a sticky wicket=rain leaking on Lucas components

fine bleedin' mess=clutch slip

bloody fine bleedin' mess=broken timing belt (on an interference engine)

 

 

Other Jokes from Around the Web

 

Ford=Frustrated Owner Returns (to) Dealer

Chevrolet=Can Hear Every Valve, Rocker Or Lifter Every Time

From a BMW Master Technician: BMW=Bring Money (in) Wheelbarrows

Fiat=Fix It Again Tony

Ford=Fix Or Repair Daily

What does Lotus stand for? Lots of trouble, usually serious

KIA=Korean Imitation Automobile

Ford=Found On Road Dead

Pontiac=Poor Old Nitwit, Thinks It's A Cadillac

 

Jokes from Steven Wright

For a while I didn't have a car...I had a helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running...

 

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights, I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

 

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

 

I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy.

 

My neighbor has a circular driveway...he can't get out.

 

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles." That's pretty big. Some people must really be tired.

 

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said,"Didn't you see that stop sign?" I said,"Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

Put my key in the door, turned it....started first time.

 

I was cruising down the freeway and cop pulls me over, he strolls upto the window and shouts in....identify yourself...I think for a moment and run upstairs into the bathroom....I look in the mirror and think, Yep....that's me...

 

 

Matty.