Just caught my little toe barefoot in the doorjam. Pain so bad I cried :o .

 

Anyone else got some painful tearjerking stomach churning mishaps at home? fingers catching in doors, kids kneeing you in the b*lls while your asleep, that kinda stuff?

 

Might ease my pain :headvswal

Yeah, I got one!!

 

 

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Now cheer up yer great tart!! :D

yes.

 

 

Very true story. Very painful ending. (NOT SNUFF)

 

I work on the railways, on the track, at night mostly. The track as you know is made up mostly of rail and ballast, well in some places like level crossings and bridges because of the situation it would be inpracticle to lay balast there so they use concrete or rubber or wood as a foundation for the rails. Some bridges that are made from iron have the sleepers bolted to the bridge itself. This can leave a gap of sometimes about 2 feet from the rail to the ground/floor. When walking the track and crossing the bridge you have to walk on the sleepers and be careful not to slip and fall down the drop. A colleage of mine called Joe was crossing a bridge one night and was walking on the sleepers but unfortunately with the rail between he's legs and he slipped. Its going to sound funny but believe me it wasn't for him. When he landed he did so on his penis. and the end result was he had split the head of his dick right down the middle and needed to have stitches.

OOUUCHH! The most unbelievable thing is that a week later he was back at work. In absolute agony as you can imagine. what a mug?

 

That is honestly a true story.

 

Painfull enough Mick?

yes.

 

 

Very true story. Very painful ending. (NOT SNUFF)

 

I work on the railways, on the track, at night mostly. The track as you know is made up mostly of rail and ballast, well in some places like level crossings and bridges because of the situation it would be inpracticle to lay balast there so they use concrete or rubber or wood as a foundation for the rails. Some bridges that are made from iron have the sleepers bolted to the bridge itself. This can leave a gap of sometimes about 2 feet from the rail to the ground/floor. When walking the track and crossing the bridge you have to walk on the sleepers and be careful not to slip and fall down the drop. A colleage of mine called Joe was crossing a bridge one night and was walking on the sleepers but unfortunately with the rail between he's legs and he slipped. Its going to sound funny but believe me it wasn't for him. When he landed he did so on his penis. and the end result was he had split the head of his dick right down the middle and needed to have stitches.

OOUUCHH! The most unbelievable thing is that a week later he was back at work. In absolute agony as you can imagine. what a mug?

 

That is honestly a true story.

 

Painfull enough Mick?

 

 

ooOOOHHHHHHHHHH, my tears are for someone else now!

 

Another one, a friend used to drive a van for his local butchers years ago, one evening he was giving a lift to one of the apprentice butchers, he told him to jump in the back of the van. he did. backwards .on top of a meat cleaver poking up between the joints of meat. split his backside in two, and spent six months on his belly. again true story.

Yeah, I got one!!

 

[

Now cheer up yer great tart!! :D

 

 

:rofl: off to bed now . bet that makes sense to me in the morning!

Just caught my little toe barefoot in the doorjam. Pain so bad I cried :o .

 

Anyone else got some painful tearjerking stomach churning mishaps at home? fingers catching in doors, kids kneeing you in the b*lls while your asleep, that kinda stuff?

 

Might ease my pain :headvswal

I have put a bone through my skin on my arm in a MTB accident :(

 

I'm sure clarkey will back me up on this, as it is a true story! At school, many years ago a bloke talled Tom Andrews had a bit of an accident on the rugby pitch involving his scrotum sack and someone else's rugby boots...and ended up in one of his testicles coming out of the tear in his ball bag and ending up on the rugby pitch! Now the MUST have hurt!

In 1991 I was in the army and on patrol in Northern Ireland, we were climbing over this gate to a cow field that was tied up with rope, The ground was much lower on one side than the other. I had a very heavy bergan on and was carrying a GPMG(Machine Gun). As I put my foot on the top rail the string snapped and the gate started to fall with me on top of it. It fell to the side which was lower down, I naturally put my arm out to break the fall, As my hand touch the ground I herd my wrist snap, then the gate landed on my arm and I landed on the gate and it snapped again! To say I was in excrusiating pain would be and under statement! The only good thing was I was air lifted to hospital in an SAS helicopter that was doing recconisance in the area. KIM

And how come when you stub a toe, or wrench your little finger, you spend the next week hitting it repeatedly on door-frames, tables, chairs, desks, car steering wheels, and the car back seat when folding it down??? :headvswal

 

(NB- last 2 were wrenched fingers only...)

 

Mark

lol, apart from falling off my bike yesterday on the way to work :rofl: i remember when i was a young'un and i got a dartboard for Christmas. was standing there playing darts without any shoes/slippers on, threw a dart, it bounced off a wire and landed right in my big toe. yowch!

Was on patrol in Gyana area called Serana de Imataca. Got into a firefight with some traficers. I got hit in teh arm by a ricochet, as it was HOT it burned while in there, but the force span me round and I lost my footing and fell down a very small vavine/gully about 3M deep. Put my left arm out to break my fall and dislocated my left shoulder.

 

Sod the bullet, that realy realy realy hurt. So now I am in a firefght without the use of both arms, took 3 hours for a flight to get to e from georgetown

Whilst on patrol in the amazon, got hit on the leg by a fragmentary bullet it hit the femur smashing it into several bits, got airlifted to hospital bullet fragments removed, some of them still live with me, now a hold a titanium bar inside my leg with couple of bolts top and bottom, the old knee tends to hurt when it gets too cold.

lol, apart from falling off my bike yesterday on the way to work :rofl:

 

I hope you werent showing off to the school kids!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I hope you werent showing off to the school kids!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

 

:rofl: :rofl: i was on the cycle path along asquith way towards Oadby when my wheels started following the icy trails of other cyclists before the frost the previous night. unfortunately my front wheel followed one trail, and my back wheel followed another...

 

 

still laugh at it now. the only person who saw it was an oncoming jogger.

lol - all the ex-military telling tales of old warwounds and airlifts, bullets and broken bones etc

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and skylinedave falling off his bike :rofl:

 

 

not had any nasty accidents, except getting a papercut inbetween my fingers - personally, worst pain was sparring with a rather vicious girl; we both did roundhouses at the same time, except hers was a bit lower than mine.

 

she caught me right in the groin, splitting my box, which pushed against my sack and pinched the end of my knob in the split.

 

not in the same league as bullets or dislocations - but it did hurt a wee bit!

Around about 1976 I was doing a bit of despatch riding in London on a company Bike Suzuki GT250B in the Holborn area there used to be a couple of back streets that still had "wooden Brick" roads Anyway as some will know when it rains and you are on a prehistoric bike from japan in them days you took your life into your own hands as the bridgestones of then were nylon and had no grip what so ever. I turned into one of these roads with the wooden bricks and did a complete spinround. The handle bars caught my third finger laeft hand and ripped the complete end of it off (Skin graphed now) and dis-located my left shoulder and to this day when its cold I suffer a lot of pain. The worse thing was I sat in the pi55ing rain blood streaming from my finger and it was rush hour and not one person stopped to help. Eventually i walked round to the eye hospital myself where they transfered me to St Barts.

Not in the same league as being shot, but I've dislocated my shoulder 4 times- twice I threw it out of the socket by sheer force (once playing squash, the other throwing a softball ball), the 3rd was seeing in the year 2000 when someone shoved me towards a wall, and the last time was doing karate when Sensei caught my punch, twisted my arm and gave a gentle push. Then an army-medic tried to relocate it without joy (hmm... deja-vu, sure I've told this story here before... ah well!...).

 

A few pins and wire have tightened up my ligaments so it shouldn't happen so easily now.

 

I also came of my MTB at speed a few months ago, wrenching my little finger in the wire fence to my side (think I tore some ligaments, it still feels odd) then simultaneously head-butting a concrete fence post and smacking the same post with my knee which split open to my kneecap bone.

 

But it was only a flesh wound :D

Back in the day when i was at school 1984 we had a guy who was riding his push bike across the school field and whent down a slight hill when he hit the bottom his wheel stuck in the ground, He went straight through the cow horn bars catching his sack on the little light bracket on the stem. :(

Needless to say 15 year old boy in casualty having his seeds sown back in his bag with 6 stitches. :x:

I have another painful story....

 

Earlier this year I said my car could do 205MPH. the rest is history. Or its sposed to be anyway? :rofl:

 

The pain has never left me and I have no doubt it never will? :bow: :headvswal :x:

when I was at school I got in a fight and when we were doing the whole schoolboy punches flying everywhere we punched each others fists!

 

I came out on top cause he snapped his wrist and his hand went blue! :eek:

 

It was the most horrible feeling though cause I actually felt it break. He was taken to hospital and turned out he nearly lost his hand cause the pulse had stopped because of the break!

I had a kidney stone.

 

The worst bit was when it moved from the kidney to the bladder. The phone was about 6 feet away but I couldn't get to it to call an ambulance. THat lasted about an hour.

 

When I p1ssed it out later, that wasn't nearly as bad.

 

A kidney stone is meant to be worse than giving birth according to doctors. If my Mrs ever gets pregnant I'm going to remind her during labour that I've had it worse!

 

 

Top army stories - scarey stuff - never been in the forces myself but I have played cards with men in uniform. ;) :rofl:

I walked from the lounge into the kitchen a few years ago and caught my little toe on the door frame. IT Fooking hurt like hell when i looked down at my foot the little toe was at a right angle to all the others (like a set aquare) :(

I cried, not sure if it was the pain or the thought of it being clicked back into place. :rofl:

It still makes my balls shrink when i thinkabout it ! :rofl:

No bullets involved with this one!: We were out on Patrol in South Armagh about 5yrs ago. The farmers there wire the electric fences up to the mains. We were tactically crossing a fence in the middle of some large fields. All down on one knee covering while each person got over and all that malarky. My Sargearnt was crossing the fence when he slipped slightly and caught his rifle on the fence. A huge blue spark arced right across his rifle , and I swear the force of the spasm sent him from carefully straddling the fence, to several feet up in the air and then on his face in the mud. We were literally rolling around in the grass p*ssing ourselves with laughter, all tactical behavior went straight out the window.

:shock: PMSL ast the fence one !

No bullets involved with this one!: We were out on Patrol in South Armagh about 5yrs ago. The farmers there wire the electric fences up to the mains. We were tactically crossing a fence in the middle of some large fields. All down on one knee covering while each person got over and all that malarky. My Sargearnt was crossing the fence when he slipped slightly and caught his rifle on the fence. A huge blue spark arced right across his rifle , and I swear the force of the spasm sent him from carefully straddling the fence, to several feet up in the air and then on his face in the mud. We were literally rolling around in the grass p*ssing ourselves with laughter, all tactical behavior went straight out the window.

Fook mate, You just reminded me that the very same thing happened to one of my mates when we served at crossmaglen! :confused:

Whilst seeing my 1st ever girlfriend, I went with her to her stables as she had an 'orse.

After a ride (unfortunatley her on the horse! :cry: ) she was putting away her saddle which lived on one of those S hooks that butchers use.

Unfortunately instead of hooking the saddle on to it, she managed to impale almost the entire length of her middle finger on it instead.

As it was quite a high hook, she wasn't tall enough to lift herself off of it and had to wait until I came and lifted her off the bloody (literally) thing.

heres my story............

the auto gearbox decided to pack up on my zed, as they have a habit of doing! so i decided enuff is enuff and went for a manual conversion.

i managed to get a conversion kit from andyz. so i drove to his workplace to pick it up.

now i wanted to lift the gearbox out of the back of my combo van into the boot of the zed, as it was off to zedworld to get the work done. however my wife was concerned that it was too heavy for me and that i should get someone to help.........but like the typical man i wanted to show her that i was hard enuff to do it all on my own!

on doing so i "rested" one end of the gearbox on my left index finger and on doing so cut through my finger and also my tendan. this resulted in almost 3 months off work, and as im self employed this wasnt good.

anyway, fingers good again and so is the zed! :hyper: