Until i was 18, i had not met my father, or his side of my family.

Upon meeting them all, i instantly took a shine to my uncle, more so than my father.

It seemed that from day one, we were clones of each other.

he moved 200 miles last year, to retire to the seaside even though he is only 57, just 10 miles from home, im now 35

I still, consider this guy to be the closest thing to a natural father i could have.

 

Last night at 2am, he had a fit in his sleep and was rushed into hospital

at 5pm tonight, we were told he has terminal cancer of the brain, liver and chest.

 

to say my world has fallen apart is not even close.

He does not know yet, and we are not sure to tell him or not.

I have just spent an hour writting him a letter, if we do tell him, i want him to read it, and to know what he means to me, if we dont tell him, he will never know.

 

Cancer is a prick, and has no mercy for anyone.

Yesterday, he was happy and gardening, and moaning that us bin men had not collected his bins again.

tonight, he is in a bed, on a drip with a cathetar in place, unaware he may not see christmas.

 

I have no idea why im saying this here, but for a moment anyway, it's helping.

 

Anyone want some words of advice????

 

tell the people who matter, that they matter. because tomorrow maybe too late...it is for me and my uncle

Mate life is a sh1t, trust me I have had major downers this year and uppers to compensate.

 

Chin up, if you need to vent on here then do it as they're all good people on here and you are in a good place for sympathy and compassion.

 

Sorry to hear about all this but try to stay strong! ;)

 

Oh and I agree Cancer is an unforgiving thing that you would've thought could be cured by now with all the money that gets pumped into the research etc. But that's not what you wanna hear right now I guess. Sorry bud.

Sorry to hear your news m8, i 2 didnt meet my dad until i was 17 or that side of my family. A few years ago my missus dd died from cancer i had known him since i was 14 so it was a wrencher for me "mot even close to what my missus went through". I feel for yu bud and if you want to get a break, you are welcome to come to sunny denbigh, have a curry and and beer and chinwag.

matt

Ps its never to late to tell people you care dude

not a lot i can say to take away the pain bud, but i know what ur going through.

dont let it get you down to much, try and make the most of the time you have together, at least you will get the chance to tell him how you feel, which is a blessing in its self, and an opportunity many people wish they had had.

Sorry to hear this mate - no words can express your feelings I'm sure, but be strong, and live your life as you want to and love those that matter, not forgetting to tell them of course.

 

Take care

 

Phil, Jill and Co.

Really very sadenned to hear this news Martin, and a difficult decision for you all to make.

 

Our thoughts are with you all.

 

David & Abi

what can i say buddy this is surely as life is. we are not here forever and we should as you say tell people how we feel. if any consilation he at least didnt get ill progressivly and hence suffer too much. tell him how you feel, let him know that he has meant to some people more than he ever knew. at these times we all turn to prayer when medical science fails we look for a divine answer. pray for him as sure as there is daylight ...there is a god , no matter in what form, name or shape you know him , god exists.

seek and ye shall find.

i really hope he pulls througH this and a mirracle happens. :( :(

Martin, bloody hell mate im so sorry for you , consider this though , your uncle may have things he wants to say to people or things he may want to do but thinks he hasnt got time just yet he wil do it later .....mate if he may not even make christmas , give him the chance to do thoses things and say those words now before he is unable to do so ....

tell him eye to eye what you think of him and then hold his hand and tell him what is wrong with him ..give him that chance .............. gutted for you mate be strong

sorry to hear that bud

our thoughts are with you all

:( I am touched by your words mate, and absolutely gutted for you.

It has always been important for me to make sure that those who mean something to me, KNOW that they mean something to me, because you never know what's round the next corner. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but your Uncle has a right to know what is happening to him, and it will give him (and you) the chance to say things that need saying.

Life has a strange way of challenging us all, and I don't know how I would deal with a challenge like this, but keep your chin up mate, and don't forget that you have friends here that will listen to you and help you through this.

 

Our thoughts go out to you and yours,

Peach and Jacqui

I can sympathise mate. I did not meet my natural father until I was 32. That was 4 years ago. SInce then we have become close and like you say, we are clones of each other. A year ago he was diagnosed with Motor Nuerone Disease and now cannot talk, walk or do anything for himself. He was also diagnosed with cancer in both kidneys.

 

He lives in America so it is not easy for me to go see him. I was over in July and when I left I got the feeling that was the last time I would see him. It is very hard mate but we gotta keep going...chin up ,mate. Tell him how you feel before it is too late and you end up with regrets!!!!!

good advice mate, you never know whats round the corner.

stay stong and just remember all the good stuff and most of all remember you have loads of freinds on here.

 

Regards,

 

alex

:( sorry to hear this bud. very sad news, dont really know what to say. :(

So, so sorry to hear your news.

 

I don't really know what to say but I'm sure he'd not want you to be sad. Grieving is natural though.

 

My thoughts are with you mate.

Sorry to here this bud,I know what cancer is like.My missus is in hospital as we speake having just had her right kidney removed.The doctors say she will be fine,but theres a 2mm mark on the left one wich they hope is a cyst.We will not know for about 3 months as they want to monitor it.

My feelings go out for you.

Steve.

very sorry to hear this mate.its very heart braking to hear how shitty life can be! if i was in this situation i would like to know wot was happening to me i think its 4 the best least he can say is gd byes sorry best wishes

Mate been there recently with a friend. And I am sitting here wishing I had gone to see her on the Saturday with my wife and brother instead of going to watch a junior match which wasnt important. She died that night.

 

My guess is he will guess what wrong with him, or that he is going to die as to whether you tell him, well thats up to you, but personaly. Dont give him the letter, tell him face to face

Hello,

I know we havent met or anything but im really sorry about your news and whats happened.

 

Recently i lost my grand mother to cancer of the brain and it really did eat me up inside as she was someone that in my opinion people should look to be like as she was perfect, she raised 12 children, i have probably got over 100 cousins and although there was a lot of people around her she managed to care for all of them, never forgot birthdays, christmas, always knew what to say to make things better, she really was a superstar in my eyes.

You probably feel strong in a similar way about your uncle and nothing people will say will change what you are going through but it helps knowing that people care and that you have people who you can talk to about this or anything else really.

 

It was all of her daughters that went to see the consultant and were told she had a brain tumar, i know at first they didn't tell her but they did eventually, she would have found out eventually and maybe been upset that she wasn't told.

Even when she knew she was still just trying to be the same person and not speaking about it, she detereated (cant spell) quickly and only living for around 2months.

 

I was there every night, could bare to be away from her as like you said she may not be there when i come back.

 

I were very very lucky, the last night i saw her she faught through the stuff that was keeping her a sleep and woke up, obviously we called nurses etc straight away and they came, they tyold us that this kind of thing is very very rare and it would be nice to take advantage of it and go say whatever we wanting to her, goodbyes, thankyous etc.

 

Although it was a bad time for everyone she will always be remembered and will always have a place in our hearts.

I also believe that she is in a better place.

 

I know if i was the one with cancer i would like to know so i can let everyone know what they mean to me.

 

If you decide your not going to tell him you can still write a letter to let him know how you fell as it would be something i'd feel was important.

 

 

What ever decission you and your family make it will be the right one for you.

 

I hope you and everyone else will get through it and be strong as thats what your uncle needs.

Im sorry mate cancer is the worst thing in the world and it just seems everybody knows someone close who has suffered from it. you should tell your uncle and help him do anything he wishes to do. You need to tell him exactly how you feel because it will eat you up inside if you miss your chance. We are all thinking of you and are here if you need us luv paul

Mart terrible news mate, life really is shit isnt it :( catch me on MSN anytime day or night bud :)

Really sorry to read this Mart, what can i already say that hasnt been said! :(

 

You know if you ever need a chat, you have both my numbers and you can call me whenever you need to.

 

Be strong bud and think of the good times!

 

All my very best

 

Rich

As Rich (Chunk) has already said, what can I say that's not already been said. Can't imagine to think what you and your family are going through, it's really sad news - but just remember, we're all here for you and in times like this we all pull together and give you what support we can.. You know you've always got friends here... ;) - Jonny

Mate, as others have said I don't know what to say. Your words have touched me and you and your uncle are in my thoughts.

I will just say that we only ever seem to regret what we DON'T do, hardly ever what we DO do. I think you should tell him.

 

Family and friends, the love that we share is what its ALL about. This ain't a trial run, tell people in your life how special they are.

 

You have always got friends on here that will listen and offer support bud so don't forget that.

Im sorry to hear that mate, sounds like you loved him alot, its really painful going through the emotions and not knowing what may happen!

 

My thoughts are with you and ur family at this time!

 

Fas

:( :( :( :(

Sorry to hear it. You and your family are in my prayers.