Alex Ferguson is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman

bursts in through the door demanding money. Ferguson attempts to tackle

the raider,but is knocked over. On his way to the floor he knocks

his head on the counter and slumps out cold onto the floor. The robber

runs off.

 

One of the cashiers goes over to Alex and tries to revive him by

fanning him with some leaflets - he comes round and looks bewildered.

 

His first words are "Oh God, where am I ?"

 

The cashier replies, "don't worry, its ok - you're in the Nationwide."

Ferguson replies, "Fuck me, is it May already ?!! "

 

 

JOHN

LOL

 

Must be joke season....

 

Bloke goes to the doctors....

 

Patient: Doctor I have a problem. Every morning I have a shit at 7am....

Doctor: What's the problem with that? Its healthy to be regular!

Patient: I only get up at 9!!!!

 

or:

 

A yorkshire man is sat watching telly with his wife when he turns around to her and says "I'm off down the pub love, go get your coat...". His wife turns to him and says "Awww, are you taking me out for a drink?" to which he replies "No! I'm turning the central heating off!"

 

Muwahahahaha

 

CheerZ,

 

Andy