Well I've had a few, in the Merc Cossie I had a while back...on the A5...tried to razz it past two fit chicks in a Golf and the Kirk went beserk...LOL! Well I put me foot down and the MO FO went west on me and wouldn't give me warp factor nine so needless to say the fit chicks in the golf were pissin' themselves laffin' at me! However, Captain Kirk did get his fullness back together and I did cain them babes's arses...eventually! ;)

 

Then there was the time I was following the Mrs. T in the Z, she was largin' it in the Kirk, when I had picked up the Z from darn sarf after having the gearbox rebuilt and I spun it off a round-a-bout...strangely enough on the A5 around Shrewsbury and into the hedge you go Mr. T! ROFLMFAO :)

 

Well not my fault, did have the wrong size stock wheels and shite tyres applied the wrong way round! ROFL :)

 

So let's here 'em then, sure the Duffer could tell us a tale about when he was racing the Macca and his Tubby went west as Northerners only know where west is...South to them is where Penguins live! ROFLMFAO :)

I have one from my early days of driving.

 

I was at the indestructable age of 17 and was lucky enough to be driving a car with a 1.8i engine in it. Anyway, at the time, I use to waz up and down the A500 in Stoke, to see what speed I could get out of it. 120mph in those days was a big deal. Anyway, on this particular day I had a mate in the car with me who encouraged me to see if I could drift it round the J15 roundabout so Mr indestruable me thought, "Piece of piss!"...................until I spun it on the roundabout and ended up facing the wrong way.To make it worse, the car was an auto so I couldn't clutch it and try to start it. Anyway, managed to get it going in the end and with a nice handbrake turn disappeared and tried to see how fast we could get back home.

 

The other time was on the second day of owning the Z. I managed to do a similar this, but this time I blame it in the roundabout being greasy and the tyre pressures being out big time(honest guv).

 

:D :D :D

My first car at the tender age of 17 was an ex-police 3.5 Rover (the old 2000 shape). Cost me £100 which may give you some idea of it's condition - rust holes so big they were like external storage bins :)

 

Anyway I just got it and wanted to see how fast it would go but the exhaust was blowing. Not waiting to get a new one I simply tied a rag around it and blasted off down the A3. Managed about 110 if I remember and when I stopped the friggin thing was on fire !!!

 

Then in the same car I had an almighty smash taking two others with me - one of which was a Vauxhall Viva so that's ok - the highlight of which was having to slap my girlfriend to get her to let go of the dash as the car was smoking - again - and I thought it would burst into flames !!

 

Actually thinking about it I reckon these are more 'moments of shame'

 

Mark

Oh they arnt embarasing, not even close.

 

1st day of owning the Z. Was coaching at a junior school. When I was leaving about 50 kids all leaned on the wall to see the great new thing. Nothing, dead. 50 kids pissing themselves laughing along with teachers and parents. thats way past embarasing.

 

When I was kid was cut up buy some twat in front of me, so me being me I told him what a tosser he was. OH MY GOD it was the girl friends parents. Still a tosser for cutting me up.

 

shagging the ass off same said girlfriend when I get a tap on the window by the police.. nuff said.

 

Having a burn up along southend sea front befor they put in teh speed ramps and blew the engine in front of a load of girls.

 

Calling the police because some ****a had stolen my car when I returned to the car park. Then remembered I was in my mates as mine was in for a service.

 

In south america hired a car, parked it on a hill, got out and the fooking thing started trundling off down the road, went through a shop window. Hand Break was fooked and I didnt know.

:x: Well, I Wanna tell you a story (Max Bygraves Voice) lol

I was 21 just picked up my 2.8 granada off me uncle :hyper: and thought lets see what it can do on the M20, got on there and got some silly old bint in her brand new escort speeding up and slowing down in front of me in the out side lane :xxx: So me being me started to go down the inside lane giving the Fingers and hand :xxx:

:o :nelson: Only to find out me MUM had just picked her new escort up.....:rofl:

:confused: It took months of washing up for her to forgive me.......:D

Just a few...

 

Bracknell has about 4 identical car park- 1st day in new job, went back to the car park and someone had nicked me Capri! Went round to the cop shop to report it and they promptly informed me of the 4 car parks so I trudged round each one till I found it. Doh!

 

Was driving a works van one day when some tart in a posh merc cut me up, so I proceded to the usual beeping and finger gestures. Got back to work and was sacked on the spot. It was the bosses wife of our best client. Doh!

 

Centre car park slip road bend in Caversham Park- saw all me mates sitting there chilling so decided to large it round the bend for a pose. Hit the dam wall. Doh!

 

Ford capri again- coming home and throttle cable snapped. So jammed a rag on the carb to keep it half open. Got home to smoke pouring out and found a nice bonfire in my engine bay. Doh!

 

Ford capri again. Took a girl out one night and hammering down a country road. Went round a bend and the wiring loom caught fire, engine died, lights died, pitch black- I just pulled up hand brake and hoped for the best. Didnt go out with her for long. Doh!

 

Renault Traffic- Sonning humped back bridge- about 6 guys in the back- 50mph. Jeeez we got some height, but the landing was so rough, I injured all the guys in the back. One had a sliced thumb, the rest bruises. They promptly asked me to pull up the van while they gave me a quick slapping. Doh!

 

The last one was not me driving but a goodun- I was 14 and on a day out with me old man. Somehow we got bogged down in some mud and were scratching our head wondering how to get it out when I nice new Police rover vittesse pulled up. The kind copper got out and asked if we needed a hand, so of course we agreed. Hitched up the tow rope to the front of my Dads Chrysler to the Front of the rozzer rover. Coppers began to pull and wheels spiining, but wouldnt budge, so the copper shouted out for my Dad to give it gas too, so theres loads of spinning and suddenly me old boys wheels gripped and he went careering straight into the nice new police car smashing in all the front. Me was in stitches! Double Doh!!

 

God, I could go on all day, but its getting too scary bringing back all those memories.

Not motoring but boating moments!

 

One day, decided to take the speedboat out for a rip down the Menai Straits. Off we went when suddenly I realised that my feet were getting wet! I hadn't put the drain plug in !! :xxx:

 

Another time, took a different boat out. Pushed it away from the beach so as to get into deeper water for the engine to be dropped. I'd Left the keys for the boat in the car :rolleyes: & so had to get someone to tow us back in!

 

This one is the best tho. My mate bought a speed boat off me & decided to take it out for a spin. He asked if I wanted to come along, so I did. When we got to the beach we noticed that the steering rope that goes from the engine up to the steering at the front had come off, so I had to rewind the rope back onto the steering pulley. Problem sorted I though, so off we go zooming along when we start to approach some rocks & my mate turns the steering to the right to avoid them & the boat turns to the left!!!

Crash bang, the engine was jumping out of the water like it was possessed as it was hitting the rocks & I couldn't turn the fooker off as it was moving around so much :rofl:

oh if you can do other people. here goes one for me dad.

 

about 9 yers old and got an invite to go to italy with parents friends and dad being dad decided it would be cheaper to drive the whole way, in a claped out triumph.

 

Got of the boat from Calai and hit the 1st roundabout.

 

Little old guy on a bicicle wearing teh berry and with onions over his handlebars shaking his fist at us. Me dad shouts out up yours froggy thinking it was because we where english, then we realise. My old man is going round the roundabout the wrong way, the wrong side of the road and has nearly run this old codger over.

 

I pissed myself

Oh they arnt embarasing, not even close.

 

1st day of owning the Z. Was coaching at a junior school. When I was leaving about 50 kids all leaned on the wall to see the great new thing. Nothing, dead. 50 kids pissing themselves laughing along with teachers and parents. thats way past embarasing.

 

When I was kid was cut up buy some twat in front of me, so me being me I told him what a tosser he was. OH MY GOD it was the girl friends parents. Still a tosser for cutting me up.

 

shagging the ass off same said girlfriend when I get a tap on the window by the police.. nuff said.

 

Having a burn up along southend sea front befor they put in teh speed ramps and blew the engine in front of a load of girls.

 

Calling the police because some ****a had stolen my car when I returned to the car park. Then remembered I was in my mates as mine was in for a service.

 

In south america hired a car, parked it on a hill, got out and the fooking thing started trundling off down the road, went through a shop window. Hand Break was fooked and I didnt know.

 

PMSLMFFFFAAAOOOOOO :) :)

 

Post of the year, laffin' me head off this end! ROFL :) :)

 

10 outta 10 :)

SPending £5000 on doing up my car and then it blowing up on the first day of starting it.

 

Oh, wait.!!!!! That hasn't happened yet ;)

Driving along Narborough Road in Leicester when I was 17. A posse of REALLY fit birds in the shortest skirts and the tightest tops (was there was of them) was walking on the pavement. My gaze instantly detracted toward them and the car went up the kerb and wrecked the wishbone. Suffice to say, I was distraught and the girls thought it was hilarious, especially as they came over to see if I was OK and I told them the reason why I drove up the kerb!! :rolleyes:

 

The other time was in my old Granada Scorpio and I'd just been humping in the middle of field near Desford with one of the secretarys at work (well fit!!) It was about 1am in the morning and after we'd finished, I attempted to start the car. FOOKING HELL, I said as the battery was "DEAD!!" I called the AA out who took about an extra 1/2hr to actually find me and when they did and found the car in the middle of the field and a fit scantily clad bird in the passenger seat it was embarrassing (BUT WORTH IT!!!) :smw: :D :D :D