have got this on the front page of my works online email. (god knows why?! :confused: )

 

Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical lesson:

On a cool, dry day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of his dental fillings.

Did you notice how your friend twitched violently and cried out in pain?

This teaches us that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never use it to hurt others unless we need to learn an important electrical lesson.

It also teaches us how an electrical circuit works.

When you scuffed your feet, you picked up batches of "electrons", which are very small objects that carpet manufacturers weave into carpets so they will attract dirt.

The electrons travel through your bloodstream and collect in your finger, where they form a spark that leaps to your friend's filling, then travels down to his feet and back into the carpet, thus completing the circuit.

Amazing Electronic Fact: If you scuffed your feet long enough without touching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your finger would explode!

But this is nothing to worry about unless you have carpeting. -- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"

 

 

 

anyone fancy trying it?!?!?! :D

Cool. :D It shall become my new party trick. :D

does it matter what kind of carpeting?

complete b o l l o c k s .. any yes adam it would depend on your carpet.

I didnt think with references to exploding fingers it was completely serious :slap: :p

yes you did, you went home and tried it on your 6 inch thick shagpile

Lol

aaagh!! thought you said it wasnt serious!! :mad:

 

I wonder if John Dixon has read this... :D

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers

 

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,

recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs

don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark

suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson,

proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of

light, and that dark is faster than light.

 

The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take

for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark

right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the

greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a

much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things, dark

suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer

suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a

primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has a white wick. You will notice that

after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which

has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an

operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the

dark flowing into the candle.

 

Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range.

There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all

of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When

the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before

the portable dark sucker can operate again.

 

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass

generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker.

Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid

wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus

it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. Dark is also heavier

than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets slowly darker

and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you are in

total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the

lake and the lighter light floats to the top. The immense power of dark can

be utilized to mans advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to

the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines, which generate

electricity and help push it to the ocean where it may be safely stored.

Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from the rivers

and lakes to the ocean. The Indians recognized this problem, and tried to

solve it. When on a river in a canoe travelling in the same direction as

the flow of the dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of

dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly

so as to help push the dark along its way.

 

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand

in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open

the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since

the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the

closet.

 

In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives much

easier. So the next time you look at an electric bulb remember that it is

indeed a dark sucker.

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers

 

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,

recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs

don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark

suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson,

proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of

light, and that dark is faster than light.

 

The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take

for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark

right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the

greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a

much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things, dark

suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer

suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a

primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has a white wick. You will notice that

after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which

has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an

operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the

dark flowing into the candle.

 

Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range.

There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all

of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When

the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before

the portable dark sucker can operate again.

 

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass

generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker.

Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid

wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus

it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. Dark is also heavier

than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets slowly darker

and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you are in

total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the

lake and the lighter light floats to the top. The immense power of dark can

be utilized to mans advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to

the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines, which generate

electricity and help push it to the ocean where it may be safely stored.

Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from the rivers

and lakes to the ocean. The Indians recognized this problem, and tried to

solve it. When on a river in a canoe travelling in the same direction as

the flow of the dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of

dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly

so as to help push the dark along its way.

 

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand

in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open

the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since

the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the

closet.

 

In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives much

easier. So the next time you look at an electric bulb remember that it is

indeed a dark sucker.

 

You would not be very bright at all if you got sucked in by that FFS:D

I don't get it - is he saying that people with a dark complexion are suckers?

and Adam - the theory about building up enough static in your body to explode a finger is of course complete b*ll*cks, because everyone knows that your gonads swell up like melons and your hair stands on end before you float up to 8 feet in the air (like in Highlander) shooting lightening out of your hands and feet!

Cool. :D It shall become my new party trick. :D

 

But remember you only have eight fingers so will be limited on the ammount of times you can reproduce this trick.... ;)