Little Tony on Math

 

>

> A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence

> and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on

> little TONY.

>

> He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

>

> The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your

> thinking."

>

> Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3

> women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately

> licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second

> is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is

> biting off the top of the ice cream.

> Which one is married?"

>

> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the

> one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

>

> To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with

> the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

>

>

> LITTLE TONY ON MATH

>

> Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in

> arithmetic.

>

> "Why?" asks the father?

>

> "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'", replies TONY.

>

> "But that's right!" says his dad.

>

> "Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

>

> "What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father.

>

> "That's what I said!"

>

>

> LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

>

> Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are

> going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an

> example of a multi-syllable word?"

>

> TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."

>

> Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a

> mouthful."

>

> Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow job."

>

>

> LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

>

> Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he

> needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need

> to take a p1ss!!"

>

> The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to

> use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is

> 'urinate'. Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly,

> and I will allow you to go."

>

> Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight,

> but if you had bigger t!ts, you'd be a TEN!"

>

>

> LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

>

> One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a

> show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the

> same sentence twice.

>

> First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father

> bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in

> it."

>

> "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little

> Michael.

>

> "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out

> beautifully."

>

> She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly

> called on little TONY.

>

> "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she

> was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ****ing beautiful!'"

>

>

> LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

>

> Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar

> after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from

> him said,

>

> "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will

> give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

>

> Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

>

> The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

>

> Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own ****ing business.

>

> I LOVE little Tony!!!!!

Quality :D:D:D

I like your thinking... :D

 

Cool jokes.

Made me :)

Arthur

:rofl: :rofl:

The Joke made me laugh but that pic of your missus made me fall off my bl00dy chair James :tongue: :tongue:

And you know what? I was going to say......"and YOUR Mrs thought it was funny too", but then thought, no, that is childish :xxx:

And you know what? I was going to say......"and YOUR Mrs thought it was funny too", but then thought, no, that is childish :xxx:

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :cool: