Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

 

AMD Athlon Chicken:

Provided you bolt on a big fan, this chicken will beat all the Intel chickens to the other side. For 3D multiplayer chicken-action, there really is no alternative...

 

Assembler Chicken:

First it builds the road ...

 

C Chicken:

It crosses the road without looking both ways.

 

C++ Chicken:

The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to it on the other side.

 

COBOL Chicken:

0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.

IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES

THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD

VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL

ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE

ELSE

GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

 

Cray Chicken:

Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fried.

 

Delphi Chicken:

The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

 

FORTRAN Chicken:

Has all the velocities and vectors for crossing the road already defined. If you are an aerospace engineer you might be able to get the FORTRAN Chicken to actually fly across the road.

 

Freeware Chicken:

Same as the Shareware Chicken, but with a more realistic approach.

 

Gopher Chicken:

Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

 

IBM Chicken:

The original IBM Chicken was too slow and too expensive to make crossing the road practical, so IBM allowed everyone else to clone its chicken, hoping that the cloners would eventually go out of business. They didn't, and now the IBM Chicken is more like a clone of a clone of a clone of the clones of itself. Every year they hold a Special Olympics for the IBM Chicken so it can cross the road too.

 

Intel Pentium Chicken:

The chicken crossed 1.9999978 times.

 

Intel Pentium 4 Chicken:

This chicken crosses the road one tiny step at a time. Who cares if it now takes 4.6 million steps to get to the other side? At 3.2GHz, it's still a faster chicken, right?

 

Iomega Chicken:

The chicken should have backed up before crossing.

 

Java Chicken:

If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one (called a chicklet) to the other side.

 

Linux Chicken:

Same as the Unix Chicken but it's free, although unsupported. To find out why the Linux chicken failed to cross the road, you will have to email some guy in Iceland with more dots in his email address than there are stars in the universe.

 

Lotus Chicken:

Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do! (IBM can't get anyone to buy this chicken, 'cause it's so dumb; it can't even find the road. So they tend to give it away with rubbish hardware.)

 

Mac Chicken:

No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

 

Microsoft Chicken ™:

It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

 

Newton Chicken:

Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

 

NT4 Chicken:

Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure. You may need to install several service packs if you want it to cross a big road. Oh, sorry, Microsoft don't support this chicken any more.

 

OOP Chicken:

It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

 

OS/2 Chicken:

It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed. You may have trouble getting a native OS/2 chicken across the road due to poor driver availability.

 

Shareware Chicken:

If you use the Shareware Chicken to cross the road you are encouraged to send 15.00 dollars...

 

TCP/IP Chicken:

Grinds the Chicken up into byte size packets, ships each one separately by the fastest possible route to the other side of the road and then re-assembles the Chicken.

 

Quantum Logic Chicken:

The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

 

Unix Chicken:

Assuming the Unix Chicken has permission to cross the road, it may go about it in this way: cd /usr/local/dev/chicken/bin/travel/ cr -o [road] -s [speed] -a [angle] -d [debug] -l [logfile] | [destination side] -v [verbose]. When the Unix Chicken's process is complete you may find out why it failed by looking in: /usr/local/dev/chicken/spool/crossings/errlog/ch10356723.x.out.

 

VB Chicken:

USHighways !

 

Web Chicken:

Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running. Because there are so many different routes to get to the other side, it's doubtful that the chicken will ever find it's way.

 

Windows 95 Chicken:

You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken. In fact, the Win95 Chicken can cross any given road in eleven different ways, not counting the use of wizards who will actually cross the road for the chicken. If you can remember all eleven ways, you can become a Microsoft Certified Poultry Specialist (MCPS). If you come up with new way for the Windows 95 Chicken to cross the road, you can become a Microsoft Certified Solution Provider (MCSP). But if you come up with a whole new chicken altogether, then you will become a Microsoft Certified Enemy (MSROADKILL).

 

Windows 98 Chicken:

It should have expected to cause a crash while crossing.

 

Windows ME Chicken:

I'm confused. Chicken98SR3? What the... This chicken doesn't know where it's going.

I pity the person that wrote those. :D

i feel asleep after the first 10min reading.:rofl: :rofl:

 

steve

There's easier ways - less wordy to accumulate posts!

Geoff.

Originally posted by Paul C

OS/2 Chicken:

It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed. You may have trouble getting a native OS/2 chicken across the road due to poor driver availability.

 

 

If Only People Knew This Chicken Better....

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :(

OS/2 WARP rocks. Very quietly.