Be honest... :D:D:D

people may think i drive like a twat...

 

...but they don't understand i'm always in control!!! :D

No Comment :D

Well we know you're a twat :p :p

Originally posted by pete shrimp

Well we know you're a twat :p :p

 

:cry: :xxx:

If you only drive like a tw*t when there's no-one around who's going to suffer as a consequence... is that still driving like a tw*t?

 

That's when I drive like a tw*t! (In either car)

Originally posted by zevans

If you only drive like a tw*t when there's no-one around

If a bear sh1ts in the woods and noones around to hear it f@rt, does it's turd still stink?! Or somink like that.

 

I drive like a tit sometimes. Never like a tw@t.

I am the epitome of self control and excellent road mannerisms at all times

Originally posted by jock

I am the epitome of self control and excellent road mannerisms at all times

 

PMSL, nice one matey!!!!!

 

Nope, I have to say I am TWAT!!! FUll blown and I dont give a **** about it!!! (Lets see how that gets moderated!!) :D

 

Nick

:cool:

Originally posted by jock

I am the epitome of self control and excellent road mannerisms at all times

 

Thants why you bought a Zed then Jock ;)

ha ha - coincidence, but we've been listening to John Cooper Clarke in the office, if you know his poem called 'twat!'

 

It's a classic, of course, but definitley does not apply to me! I'm a really nice bloke, even when I'm driving, it's just that people don't understand my superiority!

 

anyway, for the culturless amongst us, here's the poem!

 

 

 

 

Like a Night Club in the morning,

you’re the bitter end.

Like a recently disinfected shit-house,

you’re clean round the bend.

 

You give me the horrors

too bad to be true

All of my tomorrow’s

are lousy coz of you.

 

You put the Shat in Shatter

Put the Pain in Spain

Your germs are splattered about

Your face is just a stain

 

You’re certainly no raver,

commonly known as a drag.

Do us all a favour,

here... wear this polythene bag.

 

You’re like a dose of scabies,

I’ve got you under my skin.

You make life a fairy tale

... Grimm!

 

People mention murder,

the moment you arrive.

I’d consider killing you

if I thought you were alive.

 

You’ve got this slippery quality,

it makes me think of phlegm,

and a dual personality

I hate both of them.

 

Your bad breath, vamps disease,

destruction, and decay.

Please, please, please, please,

take yourself away.

 

Like a death at a birthday party,

you ruin all the fun.

Like a sucked and spat out smartie,

you’re no use to anyone.

 

Like the shadow of the guillotine

on a dead consumptive’s face.

Speaking as an outsider,

what do you think of the human race?

 

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.

He recommended suicide...

before scratching your bad name off his list,

and pointing the way outside.

 

You hear laughter breaking through,

it makes you want to fart.

You’re heading for a breakdown,

better pull yourself apart.

 

Your dirty name gets passed about

when something goes amiss.

Your attitudes are platitudes,

just make me wanna piss.

 

What kind of creature bore you

Was is some kind of bat

They can’t find a good word for you,

but I can...

TWAT.

 

 

:dance:

No i'm a self confessed **** :D

 

edit# cnut :D

Im a twat, amongst other things according to Duff :rofl:

i'm not saying nowt :D

jeez, this is an old one :shock:

OH GOD YES

:duffer: