Liam Gallagher is sitting in a restaurant when he sees "Oasis Soup" on the menu so he asks the waiter for some.
The waiter brings back the soup and after tasing it Liam says, "Oi, this tastes like tomato soup to me, why did you call it Oasis soup?"
The waiter replies, "Well, you've got a roll with it"
Just as God was about finished creating the universe, he had two things left in his bag of creations so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to pee standing up, "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, "I wondered if either of you would like this ability?"Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing that a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability, it'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please....."On and on he went. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly then he should be the one to have it. It seemed the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam was given the gift.And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his misdirection whilst in a vertical position. And so, he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good."Fine" God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..................."
Liam Gallagher is sitting in a restaurant when he sees "Oasis Soup" on the menu so he asks the waiter for some.
The waiter brings back the soup and after tasing it Liam says, "Oi, this tastes like tomato soup to me, why did you call it Oasis soup?"
The waiter replies, "Well, you've got a roll with it"
Just as God was about finished creating the universe, he had two things left in his bag of creations so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve.He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to pee standing up, "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, "I wondered if either of you would like this ability?"Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing that a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability, it'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please....."On and on he went. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly then he should be the one to have it. It seemed the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam was given the gift.And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his misdirection whilst in a vertical position. And so, he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was good."Fine" God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts, "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..................."
:rofl: :rofl: :dance: :D :D
DAVE