An Englishman, an Australian and an Frenchman are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them.

 

The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!

 

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.

 

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

 

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

 

The Australian was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back.

 

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

 

The Frenchman was next up. After watching the Australian in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

 

The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

 

Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Englishman replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

 

Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave". The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.

 

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Tie the Frenchman to my back."

Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish" says the genie.

 

The Welshman says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Wales."

 

With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in Wales was forever made fertile for farming.

 

The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country. Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye,'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.

 

The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.

 

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

 

The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."

LOL :D

Andy - I actually got a laugh from my French In-Laws with that one!

 

I'll have to try Ajay's joke on my next visit!

 

te he!