A German guy approaches a prostitute "I vish to buy sex vit you" "OK"

> > says the girl, "I'll charge 20 an hour".

> >

> > "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky". "No problem" she

> > replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky".

> >

> > So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four Large

> > bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant you to tie ze springs to each of

> > your limbs".

> >

> > The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs to her

>

> > hands and knees. "Now you vill get on your hans und knees"

> >

> > She duly does this, balancing on the springs. "You vill please blow Zis

> > vistle as I make love to you." She finds this odd, but figures it's

> > harmless, and the guy is paying.

> >

> > The sex is fantastic. She is bounced all over the room by the energetic

> > German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

> >

> > The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced, and it

>

> > is several minutes before she has recovered the breath to say: "That was

>

> > totally amazing, what do you call that?"

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Wait for it.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Wait for it.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > !

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > !

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > !

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > "Ah", says the German, "Four-sprung duck technique".

Don't get it......whats a four sprung duck?:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

:D :D :D

F.T.

Tony...........are you serious?:rolleyes:

superb:D :D

You and your bloody jokes James you should be a comedian

 

got any WHACHO JACKO ones yet?????:confused:

 

Marc:D :D

Excellent James, keep them coming.

 

Hugs and kisses

 

Wendy

Well................you said it.........and topical for today........

 

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. "My son was born on St George's Day," commented the Englishman. "So we decided to call him George." "That's a real coincidence," remarked the Scot.

"My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so we decided to call him Andrew." "My God that's amazing," said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."

What's the difference between a prostitute and a bumpy road?

Well a bumpy road knackers your tyres and a prostitute tires you're knackers.

Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?

They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.

Last one............maybe more tomorrow if you're good.

 

Everybody, who has a dog, calls him either 'Rover' or 'Spot'. I made the mistake of calling mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me, when I went to city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too!" Then I said "But this is for a dog". He said, " I don't care what she looks like". Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old " He said, "You must have been quite a kid".

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. Not wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that I wanted a separate room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for Sex. I said "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk said "me too". One day I entered Sex in a dog show, before the competition began, another contestant asked me what I was doing. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the show. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. When I asked if the show was televised he called me a pervert!

I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him up I said, "I've come for my dog." She said " Which one Spot or Rover". I said "What about Sex?" She slapped me. After I straightened up the misunderstanding, I asked if Sex was good for her. She slapped me again.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married". He said, "What's your point, so did I". I said "But my wife wants to take Sex away". He said, "That's what happens in a divorce" Last night Sex ran off. I spent the night looking for him all over town. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are u doing in this alley at 3 o' clock in the morning?" I said I was looking for Sex…My case comes up Friday.

:D :D LOL:D :D