WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

 

Yes = No.

 

No = Yes.

 

Maybe = No.

 

We need = I want.

 

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

 

We need to talk = I need to complain.

 

Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.

 

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

 

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

 

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.

 

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

 

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

 

You're so ... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

 

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

 

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

 

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

 

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

 

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.

 

MEN'S ENGLISH:

 

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

 

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

 

I'm tired = I'm tired.

 

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

 

I love you = Let's have sex now.

 

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

 

What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.

 

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

 

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

 

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

 

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

 

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

 

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes.

 

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

 

I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D