Two guys are sitting in a quiet, rundown bar. In walks another man, dressed very sharply in a dark suit and carrying a briefcase. The two men are surprised to see such a man in their local bar.

 

"Looks like a lawyer to me" says the first man.

 

"No, I'd say an accountant" his friend replies.

 

After some squabbling, the first man decides to go over to the sharply dressed stranger to settle the debate.

 

"Excuse me" says he, "But my friend and I were having an argument over there and were wondering if you could help. Tell me: are you a lawyer or an accountant?"

 

"Why, I'm neither a lawyer nor an accountant" he replies. "I'm actualy a reasonable scientist."

 

"What in hell is a reasonable scientist?" cries the man.

 

"Well, allow me to give you a demonstration. Do you have any goldfish?" The man nods. "Well then, if you have goldfish it must surely be reasonable to assume that you either keep them in a tank or in a pond."

 

"Why yes" he replies. "I do keep them in a pond."

 

"Right" says the reasonable scientist. "Then if you have a pond it must also be reasonable to assume that you have a large house." Again, the man nods. "And if you have a large house it must be reasonable to assume that you have a wife and children."

 

"Yes," says the man in wonder, "I do."

 

"Right. And if you have a wife and kids you must have an adequate sex life."

 

"Of course. Three or four times a week"

 

"And if youre being serviced that often it is reasonable to assume that you don't masturbate on a regular basis."

 

"No. Hardly ever."

 

"Exactly. So you see, by just telling me that you had a goldfish I was able to deduce that you have a large house, a family and that you dont jerk off very often. And that, my friend, is the job of a reasonable scientist."

 

Thanking him, the man returns to his friend.

 

"Well," says his friend, "was he a lawyer or an accountant?"

 

"Neither, he was a reasonable scientist."

 

"What in hell is a reasonable scientist?"

 

"Well, its difficult to explain. Allow me to demonstrate. Do you have a goldfish?"

 

"No," his friend replies.

 

"Well then: you're a wanker."

 

Stuart.

LOL

Not heard that one.

I've got loads of goldfish but doesn't seem to get me more sex!