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Here Macca look what Ive been reduced to!

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

 

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

 

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Time of return

Date: Time of departure: NOT to exceed:

 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol/class A drugs without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancée/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

 

 

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Drugs Total

 

 

 

 

Locations to be visited

 

 

 

Females with whom conversation

is permitted

 

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

 

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a Robbie Williams concert, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

 

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

 

 

Request is: APPROVED DENIED

 

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

"……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date: Time of departure: Time of return:

 

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancée/Wife:

Featured Replies

Iain you're so strict with him, poor lad! :D :D :D

Originally posted by BigRoy

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

 

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: Macca the Hacker the Hatchet Harry the bastard pimp mother!

 

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

 

Time of return: No later than 0100 hrs as my hot water bottle may need topping up and a cup of hot chocolate would be nice.

 

Date: Day of going out! DOH!

 

Time of departure: I will let you leave at 2000 hrs NOT to exceed: 0101 hrs

 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women/men/trannys/lady boys. I shall not even speak to another female/male/tranny/lady boy, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints/one ecstasy tablet/puff of a biffter/sniff of a proper girls knickers, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol/class A drugs/two pints of male spunk like what Mark Almond did back in the eighties when he was with Soft Cell without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol/spunk allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancée/wife/doorman pimp mother retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

 

 

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer one pint as that is all I can manage

 

Wine Yeah right! I should be so lucky

Liquor Only Licker I will get is from some tranny when he's dribbling hot love juice down my throat

Drugs As much as it takes to knock me out so that I can be buggered from behind and gang raped by black lady boys with huge telegraph pole style love rods

 

Total I love it, give it to me until I can't take anymore man juice!!!

 

Locations to be visited

 

Blue Oyster Bar, SW1

Man Love Strip Club, SW1

Lady Boy Love, SW1

Big Boys Club, SW2 (Taxi required)

 

 

Females with whom conversation

is permitted

 

Any chick packing a dick will be acceptable as this guy loves it!

 

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female/ladyboy/tranny contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within (or on!) one hundred (100) feet of a stripper/ladyboy/tranny/male or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper/ladyboy/tranny/male Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

 

I acknowledge my position in life (Doggy style). I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me (I prefer skirts and fishnet stockings). I promise to abide by your rules & regulations (including domination, spanking, being rogered from behind with a strap-on and tied up). I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers and red hot action to members of the male sex and trannies/ladyboys/male prossies etc. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a Robbie Williams concert or Village People re-union concert, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger but I reserve the right to suck them off, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet or all over you if you so desire. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile spunk breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

 

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

 

Massive Roy

 

 

Request is: APPROVED X DENIED

 

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

"……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date: 27/01/2003 Time of departure: Time of return:

 

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancée/Wife:

Originally posted by Timmy_Turbo

Iain you're so strict with him, poor lad! :D :D :D

 

Hey do I detect a little jealousy here Timmy?Will you scratch his eyes out at the next meet LOL;)

Originally posted by BigRoy

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

 

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

 

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Time of return

Date: Time of departure: NOT to exceed:

 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol/class A drugs without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancée/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

 

 

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Drugs Total

 

 

 

 

Locations to be visited

 

 

 

Females with whom conversation

is permitted

 

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

 

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a Robbie Williams concert, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

 

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

 

 

Request is: APPROVED DENIED

 

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

"……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date: Time of departure: Time of return:

 

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancée/Wife:

 

Bloody hell Roy,It's time for a new model mate;)

exeptionaly funny :D

And heres the Wifes one!

 

 

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

 

Name of Girlfriend/Fiancée/Partner/Wife:

 

I’M GOING OUT, O.K.

 

 

Signed: (me)……………………

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