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Top Tips

Fatties.....pay someone to walk behind you juggling, swallowing swords or eating fire. This will divert the attention from your obesity.

 

Tie a fish on a piece of string, climb up onto your neighbours roof and dangle the fish in front of their window. They'll think their house is underwater.

 

An old television, with a toaster inside, makes a cheap but effective "microwave oven"........for making toast.

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    LOL...cheers...made me smile even this early on a Tuesday with 3 hours sleep. :D :D

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