October 12, 200223 yr i think we can all relate to this Hangover Star Ratings 1 Star Hangover * No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere 'disco nap', which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Still able to function relatively well. However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara. Even vegetarians are craving a bacon butty with chips. 2 Star Hangover * * No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you hug to try to remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling guts, which are craving a Full English Breakfast. Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails. 3 Star Hangover * * * Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space-cadet and so not productive. Anytime someone walks by, you gag because their perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin-shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with dozen doughnuts and a litre of coke watching Trisha. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once. 4 Star Hangover * * * * You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or you might honk. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving or it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems, depending on your gender. Your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss Side secondary modern school circa 1976. You would give a week's pay for one the following: * Home time * A Doner Kebab and somewhere to be alone * A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before. 5 Star Hangover * * * * * You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste-crust in the corners of your mouth. Your body has lost the ability to create saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems like a pretty good option right now. Your boss doesn't even get cross and your co-workers think that your dog must have just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe . . .Very gently. 6 Star Hangover * * * * * * You arrive home and climb into bed. Sleep comes instantly; as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi. You get about 2 hours sleep and the noises inside your head wake you up. You notice that your bed has been cleared for take-off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No matter what you do you know you're going to chuck. You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail. After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls, knocking all the pictures off, you find the dunny. If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls. You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting and farting... Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived. Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and it goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark. With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent. You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your bum come out of your mouth on the last occasion. You lie there cold and shivering, with eruptions now occurring at 1 hour intervals. It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. You are abused again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair. You reluctantly accept the advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital. The whole day spent (as hangover 4 star) you finally feel well enough to eat again on the following day, with the mention of alcohol making your stomach churn lasts for a week and publicly you vow never to do it again. ................Until next time!!!
i think we can all relate to this
Hangover Star Ratings
1 Star Hangover *
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere
'disco nap', which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Still
able to function relatively well. However, you can drink 10 bottles of
water and still feel as parched as the Sahara.
Even vegetarians are craving a bacon butty with chips.
2 Star Hangover * *
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you
have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you
hug to try to remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling guts,
which are craving a Full English Breakfast.
Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your
employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light
filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.
3 Star Hangover * * *
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space-cadet
and so not productive. Anytime someone walks by, you gag because their
perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin-shots you did with your
alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m.
Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with dozen
doughnuts and a litre of coke watching Trisha. You've had 4 cups of
coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet
you haven't peed once.
4 Star Hangover * * * *
You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't
speak too quickly or you might honk. Your boss has already lambasted you
for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.
You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you either
missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving or it looks like you put your
make-up on while riding the dodgems, depending on your gender. Your teeth
have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes
you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss Side secondary
modern school circa 1976.
You would give a week's pay for one the following:
* Home time
* A Doner Kebab and somewhere to be alone
* A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night
before.
5 Star Hangover * * * * *
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the
employee who sits next to you. Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore
and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste-crust in the corners of
your mouth.
Your body has lost the ability to create saliva, so your tongue is
suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture
left in your body. Death seems like a pretty good option right now. Your
boss doesn't even get cross and your co-workers think that your dog must
have just died because you look so pathetic.
You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage
to do is breathe . . .Very gently.
6 Star Hangover * * * * * *
You arrive home and climb into bed. Sleep comes instantly; as you were
fighting it all the way home in the taxi. You get about 2 hours sleep and
the noises inside your head wake you up. You notice that your bed has
been cleared for take-off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No
matter what you do you know you're going to chuck. You stumble out of bed
and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail.
After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls, knocking
all the pictures off, you find the dunny. If you are lucky you will
remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the
whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls.
You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in
the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the
walrus noises, spitting and farting... Help usually comes at this stage,
even if it is short lived.
Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into
abuse and it goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark. With your
stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to
15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent. You are convinced that
you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your
bum come out of your mouth on the last occasion.
You lie there cold and shivering, with eruptions now occurring at 1 hour
intervals. It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up
for the day as you try to climb into bed. You are abused again for trying
to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair. You
reluctantly accept the advice and have a shower in exchange for them
driving you to the hospital.
The whole day spent (as hangover 4 star) you finally feel well enough to
eat again on the following day, with the mention of alcohol making your
stomach churn lasts for a week and publicly you vow never to do it again.
................Until next time!!!