Does anyone else turn into a greeneyed monster when it comes to their husbands/wives/partners???

 

Found out yesterday by accident my husband has a gym buddy!!!!!!!!

 

To say I'm not best pleased is an understatement and I'm the first to admit I'm a jealous biatch!! Just want to know would anyone else turn into the green eyed monster or is it just me over reacting????

I found therapy tonight its in the shape of a can of beer well several actually lol

 

LOL - that's the spirit......:wink:

I found therapy tonight its in the shape of a can of beer well several actually lol

 

That'll keep the emotions in check then :lol:

Thanks guys! I knew I could count on you lot to help :) :) :) x x x

Thanks guys! I knew I could count on you lot to help :) :) :) x x x

 

Anytime Nicci!!

 

This place is not just about the cars - we're actually a helpful lot on many other matters too. Hell, it's the first place I turn to for advice on just about anything; someone always comes up with the answer in the end!!!

 

Richard:thumbup:

Scottish point of view ?

 

Why didnt he tell you his gym buddy was a bint ?

 

Why did he snatch the phone away ?

 

Why didnt you suspect something before the text ?

 

Why does he have this magnetic hold over you ?

 

Why are you blaming yourself ???

 

Why ? Why ??

 

Havent met any of you, so cant judge, but it does sound like he has summit to hide ?

I can recieve a text on my phone when I am out working on the car/shower/sleeping whatever and my wife will shout,

you have a text, do you want me to answer it or leave it ?? Normal reply is, whatever !

 

No secrets, coz secrets spell disaster ?

It always comes out in the end !!

 

Why dont you just ask him straight out ?

 

Alan.,

Hi nicci,

 

I need to tread very caerfully here,

 

but in my past experience my partner hid the phone from me, was on silent all the time, and never left it unattended, it turned out she was cheating on me!!

 

One other thing im ashamed to admit but i did cheat on a previous partner with the excuse that she was my gym partner

 

hope you get thing sorted

 

kind regards

 

Dewi

I've asked myself all of the above and came up with the same answer! DONT KNOW

 

And I'm not blaming myself for his stupidity and ignorance, I know I am worth more and deserve better, as for the magnetic hold I'd say that's love, I love him with all my heart (wouldn't have married him if I didn't).

 

I've asked him outright and nothing is going on and he didn't want to tell me cos I'm a jealous psycho bitch!! (His words) and he didn't want to hurt my feelings, altho it feels like my heart has been ripped out as I forgot to mention earlier, we had a drunken disagreement on the way home from the pub couple of months back and he never came home all night found him eventually the next morning on the gym buddies sofa!!!!!!! And there's a wonder why I'm like I am lol

I've asked myself all of the above and came up with the same answer! DONT KNOW

 

And I'm not blaming myself for his stupidity and ignorance, I know I am worth more and deserve better, as for the magnetic hold I'd say that's love, I love him with all my heart (wouldn't have married him if I didn't).

 

I've asked him outright and nothing is going on and he didn't want to tell me cos I'm a jealous psycho bitch!! (His words) and he didn't want to hurt my feelings, altho it feels like my heart has been ripped out as I forgot to mention earlier, we had a drunken disagreement on the way home from the pub couple of months back and he never came home all night found him eventually the next morning on the gym buddies sofa!!!!!!! And there's a wonder why I'm like I am lol

 

I thought you'd just found he has a gym buddy?

I have just found out he has a gym buddy the same gym buddy who's sofa he slept on!!!

Hmmm, sound funny to me.

Think you need to sit down for a sober chat, and ask him outright.

If its all innocent, go to the gym with them both, and put your fears to bed.

I very rarely (in fact never) comment on threads such as this, however just playing devil's advocate here, it may be worth considering:

 

If later on down the line both your husband and his gym partner turn out to be entirely innocent and that they are in fact just good friends (which they quite possibly could be) it may be wise to give due consideration to how hubby may react to his faithfulness and integrity being brought into question and commented on by complete strangers on a public forum?

 

I personally believe that PM'ing friends on here for advice would maybe be more appropriate, rather than giving complete transparency to your personal life (and thoughts) for all and sundry to comment on

 

I'm not having a dig but if your hubby does read this thread for whatever reason then I dare say that it's not likely to do either of you or your marriage any good

 

just my thoughts and feel free to ignore every single word

 

I hope it all works out for you both in the end

 

 

I don't mean to sound harsh but you could have anybody reading this and some may not be as nice as those that have already commented

my only comment on the matter is: one of my ex girlfriends was a 'jealous psycho bitch' to the extent that if I got within a few feet of another woman (as in, passing one in the street, standing near one, mentioning a name that sounds even vaguely female etc.) she'd stare at me, shake her head disbelievingly and storm off, ready for fall out number 7,345. Needless to say I was very relieved after I'd dumped her as she'd made my life pretty miserable for the few months that it lasted. All of this behaviour forced me away from her as I found myself having to double-check whatever I was going to do or say in front of her in case she got all jealous again to the extent that I was very uncomfortable around her, which she then picked up on and yep you guessed it, got all suspicious over that as well. Sigh. I'm not saying you're anything like that (I've not met you) but the worst can come to the worst over absolutely nothing.

 

Well, I hope it all works out anyway.

its all about trust in my book my mrs goes out all the time I have no problem with that as she always comes back to me at the end of the night with loads of stories about how bad here friends are being treated either male or female

Time will tell and don't push it

Ok. Girlie point of view. Has he always been a bit secretive, or is this different? Some blokes just like a bit of privacy, so has he been uncomfortable with you looking at his mobile phone messages before or is this new? If you admit that you are jealous and maybe insecure, then maybe he didn't mention anything because it's the easy way out to avoid trouble, hoping you wouldn't find out? Obviously a 'gym buddy' is quite a personal relationship so the best way to move forward would be to try to have a calm conversation to explain how you feel and you are NOT being unreasonable. He only has himself to blame if you find out that he has been hiding things from you and the s**t hits the fan!!

hi Nicci, hope you get it all sorted , obvioulsy your husband is aware you are insecure and not happy with him having lady friends , call it jealousy if you wish, and he knows you react badly to any threat on your relationship ie a gym buddy, so why has he done it ?? why did he not say to this gym buddy, that would be great going to the gym together and working out together but you know what , i know it would upset my wife so thanks but no thanks she means the world to me and i just dont want her upset, ....i know thats how i would play it in his shoes, secrets are poison, in my opinion its not him you should be talking to its his gym buddy , call her and explain , calmly and rationaly as a friend that her close relationship with your partner is putting a strain on your marriage , put the ball in her court, she may be insecure also and just want a male friend , get to the root of the matter , she probably does not realise what harm or concern she is causing you , as another woman she should see your point and understand ,

 

have you tried going as your chaps gym buddy?? go as a threesome see what its all about, gyms are very public places so you can guarentee there is no mischief going on in there....if you see it first hand how they are with each other in the gym and why they need a gym buddy it may well ease the tension and mistrust you feel, ..there is nothing worse than not knowing as the minds eye will conjour up all sorts of green eyed monsters to deal with........good luck

 

steve

Just want to add I'm quite a secretive bloke, I have nothing to hide but my phone is always in my pocket and I always carry it round the house with me and I'd never dream of lettign anyone read through my text messages. Can't explain it, maybe its because I'm the eldest of five and when I was 16/17 my little brothers were always trying to snatch my phone and go through it. I'm the same with my mail though, when me and my girlfriend first moved in together I went ape when she opened a letter addressed to me. I've always been the type to leave someone as well if they have to know where I'm going and who with, my business not theirs.

 

In return though I never ask who just text her or where shes going and what time she'll be back etc, its not I'm not interested its just not my business.

 

If my girlfriend read my messages and then asked me to explain myself I think I'd react in the same way.

Thanks for all of your comments, I don't normally air my laundry on a forum but in the past this forum has been a god send and altho I'm not a member anymore I still feel part of the crew and I'm trying to get my head around the fact I've been lied to by the one person I thought I could trust the most and reading other peoples views male and female does help!

 

So thanks again :)

Thanks for all of your comments, I don't normally air my laundry on a forum but in the past this forum has been a god send and altho I'm not a member anymore I still feel part of the crew and I'm trying to get my head around the fact I've been lied to by the one person I thought I could trust the most and reading other peoples views male and female does help!

 

So thanks again :)

 

Your still a member Nicci just because you are not subscribed does not mean you are an outsider all members registered or subscribed are welcomed. Good luck and Happy Easter.

hi Nicci, hope you get it all sorted , obvioulsy your husband is aware you are insecure and not happy with him having lady friends , call it jealousy if you wish, and he knows you react badly to any threat on your relationship ie a gym buddy, so why has he done it ?? why did he not say to this gym buddy, that would be great going to the gym together and working out together but you know what , i know it would upset my wife so thanks but no thanks she means the world to me and i just dont want her upset, ....i know thats how i would play it in his shoes, secrets are poison, in my opinion its not him you should be talking to its his gym buddy , call her and explain , calmly and rationaly as a friend that her close relationship with your partner is putting a strain on your marriage , put the ball in her court, she may be insecure also and just want a male friend , get to the root of the matter , she probably does not realise what harm or concern she is causing you , as another woman she should see your point and understand ,

 

have you tried going as your chaps gym buddy?? go as a threesome see what its all about, gyms are very public places so you can guarentee there is no mischief going on in there....if you see it first hand how they are with each other in the gym and why they need a gym buddy it may well ease the tension and mistrust you feel, ..there is nothing worse than not knowing as the minds eye will conjour up all sorts of green eyed monsters to deal with........good luck

 

steve

 

Thanks :)

 

Its a difficult situation and the gym buddy is aware that I'm not happy with it as my hubby told her not to mention it to me as I wouldn't be happy about it!! Which she has gone along with, she also drinks in our local boozer so I've been socializing with the pair of them and been none the wiser!! He said they give each other motivation at the gym (which is fine) he also said that they talk about each others problems (which is not fine) the way I see it if he has a problem shouldn't I be the one he comes to??

 

I've told him all this before anyone asks but his response is still the same he is still going to go gym with her and he doesn't want to hear any snide comments about her because she's done nothing wrong!!! Mmmmm they both lied and betrayed me so in my eyes that's wrong or am I over reacting?? I would love to go to the gym but I don't have time, I'm a driver and I work all different hours so by the time I've finshed work I have to then get home and do the housework, keep the kids in line so really going to the gym is not an option for me and plus can't really afford for both of us to be joint to a gym!!

I found out the same thing about the Mrs (Phone call from his Wife)Her gym buddy was developing he abbs by smashing her pastie for six months.Hence one divorced Bee Gee lol. Hope every thing works out(excuse the pun)for you...Vinz

I found out the same thing about the Mrs (Phone call from his Wife)Her gym buddy was developing he abbs by smashing her pastie for six months.Hence one divorced Bee Gee lol. Hope every thing works out(excuse the pun)for you...Vinz

 

Never heard it put that way before! :)

Hi Nicci, speaking as someone who is a man and does,nt no you, i dont think your over jealous, your acting as anyone in the same position would, and quite rightly. Now as a man i can honestly say 99% of us would jump at the chance of having a "gym buddy" if you know what i mean, the other 0.1% are obviously on this forum. Avoid any help from men that refur to you as "hun" they just want to be YOUR "gym buddy" hate hun people. Your obviously very worried about this, you need to talk to the best and closest friend you have and you'll be in a better frame of mind to deal with it. Coming on here for help then being told YOU need theropy wont help your feelings at the moment. Good luck and hope everything turns out ok for you.

Hi Nicci, speaking as someone who is a man and does,nt no you, i dont think your over jealous, your acting as anyone in the same position would, and quite rightly. Now as a man i can honestly say 99% of us would jump at the chance of having a "gym buddy" if you know what i mean, the other 0.1% are obviously on this forum. Avoid any help from men that refur to you as "hun" they just want to be YOUR "gym buddy" hate hun people. Your obviously very worried about this, you need to talk to the best and closest friend you have and you'll be in a better frame of mind to deal with it. Coming on here for help then being told YOU need theropy wont help your feelings at the moment. Good luck and hope everything turns out ok for you.

 

Get your facts right. She asked for help in dealing with her feelings and I suggested that CBT might help her as it has me. I didn't tell her she NEEDS therapy!

Edited April 8, 201213 yr by Steams

Hey Nicci,

 

Shoot the *******, claim the insurance and then shoot her !

 

Before anybody goes off on one, I am kidding !!

 

Dunno the answer kiddo, but I am so hoping it sorts itself out for you.

 

Alan & Fiona.

Thread has run its course and is now closed if you need more advice Nicci let me know and I will reopen.