Gents i know i posted something a while ago about my ex but i despretally need some advice if its ok to ask, i do realize this is a zed forum but people here are really friendly and helpfull and have been there for me many times

so if its ok to ask ill carry on :sad:

I think we will all have been through it at some point mate, so ask away.

A problem shared and all that ;) And sometimes advice from people who don't know you can make you see things from different angles :)

Tell all buddy, we can only try and help if we can.

Plus of course wer'e all nosey cnuts!!!!:whistling:

ok thanks guys really appreceate this

 

right where to start, my ex finished with me 18months ago and i was really distraught been to see councilors and neuro linguistics advisors and i really really cant get her out of my head, she passes my house most days so its not a good thing at all, i have been trying soo hard to get back with her, i havent spoken much at all to her the past 18months, but she did text last week to ask why i was ignoring her when she drives past

 

well it turned into a slanging match which in the end i appologised and finnaly sent flowers to her to say sorry, the week after she sent a text to say she was sorry for everything saying that if i spent more time with her when we were together we may be together now

 

at the time my nan was very ill and shortly afterwards past away also my mum was ill so i was trying hard to share my time with everyone

 

so tonight i plucked up the courage to call her was a bit awkward she said she was in a sticky situation with someone to me that sounds that she is with someone

 

ok so i said to her can i chat with you please something i need to say so we agreed this wed

 

Gents i will do anything i can to get her back i really miss her and without a word of a lie not a second goes by that i dont think about her even after 18months apart

 

so im kinda stuck about what to say to her, i thought something along the lines of that im so sorry about the relationship and how i couldnt spend more time with you but please give me the chance to show you that i can really make it up to you and make you feel so special her and her little boy, to take her away on holidays and weekends away and spoil her and her little boy to be there for her always

 

but if this isnt what she wants i would say that i have to move on and forget about you and cut all contact and friendship with you as its the only way i will forget and move on

 

i have no other way i can think of to do this and any help or davice you have will be really greatly appreceated

 

kind regards

 

dewi

Plus of course wer'e all nosey cnuts!!!!:whistling:

 

I didn't want to say that....lol...:yes::yes:

ok thanks guys really appreceate this

 

right where to start, my ex finished with me 18months ago and i was really distraught been to see councilors and neuro linguistics advisors and i really really cant get her out of my head, she passes my house most days so its not a good thing at all, i have been trying soo hard to get back with her, i havent spoken much at all to her the past 18months, but she did text last week to ask why i was ignoring her when she drives past

 

well it turned into a slanging match which in the end i appologised and finnaly sent flowers to her to say sorry, the week after she sent a text to say she was sorry for everything saying that if i spent more time with her when we were together we may be together now

 

at the time my nan was very ill and shortly afterwards past away also my mum was ill so i was trying hard to share my time with everyone

 

so tonight i plucked up the courage to call her was a bit awkward she said she was in a sticky situation with someone to me that sounds that she is with someone

 

ok so i said to her can i chat with you please something i need to say so we agreed this wed

 

Gents i will do anything i can to get her back i really miss her and without a word of a lie not a second goes by that i dont think about her even after 18months apart

 

so im kinda stuck about what to say to her, i thought something along the lines of that im so sorry about the relationship and how i couldnt spend more time with you but please give me the chance to show you that i can really make it up to you and make you feel so special her and her little boy, to take her away on holidays and weekends away and spoil her and her little boy to be there for her always

 

but if this isnt what she wants i would say that i have to move on and forget about you and cut all contact and friendship with you as its the only way i will forget and move on

 

i have no other way i can think of to do this and any help or davice you have will be really greatly appreceated

 

kind regards

 

dewi

 

How long were you together before you split up?

I always approach relationships from a tactical point of view just because of the psychological stuff i have read and learned so i think by saying that if things cant work out then you will cut all contact is a very wise move and will make her realise as in negotiating people will connect more with perceived future regret its the way salesmen sell stuff.

 

I know i have a strange way of looking at relationships however it is very real stuff out of the movies doesnt work so you do have to call some hard shots sometimes

 

Good luck buddy

Sorry to hear this predicament mate.

If i was you i wouldnt go promising holidays and weekends away. If thats what she wants from ya then she's really not worth it.

A good person wouldnt even hesitate when you needed to spend time with your family(especially when they were poorly) they would support you 110%.

When times are bad, thats when the RIGHT person for ya will be there no matter what and if she was that one you would of still been together.

Cut your ties completely and try to move on.

Sorry if this isnt what you wanted to hear, but thats how i see it.

Best of luck.

18 months and you still want her, sounds like you got it bad but does she want you that is the key question. That is what you need to find out and if she does not want you well it really is time to move on mate.The whole world is in front of you so never look back.

I always approach relationships from a tactical point of view just because of the psychological stuff i have read and learned so i think by saying that if things cant work out then you will cut all contact is a very wise move and will make her realise as in negotiating people will connect more with perceived future regret its the way salesmen sell stuff.

 

I know i have a strange way of looking at relationships however it is very real stuff out of the movies doesnt work so you do have to call some hard shots sometimes

 

Good luck buddy

 

this is what i really am hoping for that she will see that im going for good and hoping she will not want to loose me, i know this sounds really corny and wrong but i was going to buy a heart pendant for her and say this is part of my heart that always will belong to you but i dont think that is a good move is it :cursing:

Wise words there, that's when you know who the people who love you and care about you really are. Do you want a 1 way relationship cos that what it sounds like you're offering.

 

Why did she split up with you? What were her reasons 18 months ago?

it honestly does sound like a 1 sided relationship, i would say move on and find somebody who will love you equally back!

18 months and you still want her, sounds like you got it bad but does she want you that is the key question. That is what you need to find out and if she does not want you well it really is time to move on mate.The whole world is in front of you so never look back.

 

i really cant tell if she wants me or not thats the worse thing i hang on every word she says its soul destroying to say the least and it tearing my life appart

18 months and you still want her, sounds like you got it bad but does she want you that is the key question. That is what you need to find out and if she does not want you well it really is time to move on mate.The whole world is in front of you so never look back.

 

Great piece of advice mate.......

Definetely forget her and have a look elsewhere. How old are you? You cant beat a load of no-strings to erase the memory of a previous girlfriend!! :)

 

I wouldnt want to bring up someone else's child either, not for me.

 

i was going to buy a heart pendant for her and say this is part of my heart that always will belong to you but i dont think that is a good move is it :cursing:

 

She would probably run a mile if you said that, I know I would if a girl said that to me. Sounds very needy

Hi, surely she was aware of the situation with your family?

You sound like a decent bloke, know your worth mate. Bit of a poor reason (Re time) if you ask me,sounds like a typical bullshit response, you have to take the rough with the smooth in relationships. Personally I would go along your lines..but unless you were purposely neglectful don`t beg..you `ve nothing to feel bad about,she`s doing your head in. You were doing your duty she should have been supporting you. Say sorry it didn`t work out n all that by all means but she sounds selfish to me. From what i see you`re worth more than that. Good luck whatever you decide..we`ve all been there.

And deffo a NO NO to the pendant..You sound like you need to distance yourself and regroup.

i really cant tell if she wants me or not thats the worse thing i hang on every word she says its soul destroying to say the least and it tearing my life appart

 

That to me says it all mate,when someone wants you you will know. I think its time to find your soulmate dont be blinded by this one you need someone to love you as the person you are and thats the best advice I can give, it will take time but its worth waiting and searching for.

Guys im really overwhellmed by your responses, i did post up on a relationship forum but i got next to no replys goes to show how really good this forum really is im greatly thankfull to you all,

 

I am 36 years old and a real soft person at heart whenwe finished i spent a 1k on kmas gifts on her ona deprate attempt to get her back and i found out she was with someone at the time, so as the pendant goes i dont think i will give her one this time

 

i honestly dont know what is the matter with me i just cannot get rid of her from my mind its been hell this last 18months i had a months holidya travelling from buenos aries to rio de janiero and all i did was think of her all that time, ihave had relationships since and im only in them half hearted as i always want to leave the door open for the ex

all my friends say im too good for her and im a kind and decent person so surley thats a good thing, and im also very ashamed to say i tried to commit suicide twice after we ended and that was a very seifish thing to try and do :(

Did she accept the 1k gifts???

 

You do sound like a decent bloke but some people just won't see that and maybe she's just one of them :(

 

One thing I always remember is " you can't make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them"

ofcourse she did, she accepted everything i gave her even bought tickets to see jason derrullo i paid over 100 on ebay to get seated ones, told her xmas after gettting her a new digital camera also, so were were meant to go 18th of feb and 6:30 of the same morning she sent a message on fb saying she cant go what a waste

she also lost her mob last year and i paid£400 for a new one for her eventhough she was with someone else im really stupid arent i :(

Guys im really overwhellmed by your responses, i did post up on a relationship forum but i got next to no replys goes to show how really good this forum really is im greatly thankfull to you all,

 

I am 36 years old and a real soft person at heart whenwe finished i spent a 1k on kmas gifts on her ona deprate attempt to get her back and i found out she was with someone at the time, so as the pendant goes i dont think i will give her one this time

 

i honestly dont know what is the matter with me i just cannot get rid of her from my mind its been hell this last 18months i had a months holidya travelling from buenos aries to rio de janiero and all i did was think of her all that time, ihave had relationships since and im only in them half hearted as i always want to leave the door open for the ex

all my friends say im too good for her and im a kind and decent person so surley thats a good thing, and im also very ashamed to say i tried to commit suicide twice after we ended and that was a very seifish thing to try and do :(

 

I here what you are saying and it can leave you in a dark place get out with your mates and start enjoying life its the only way to go. We are here only a short time on this planet so make the most of it and get out there.

Life is too precious to give it up over a woman or anything for that matter, unfortunately people react in different ways to emotions, but i have learnt over the years not to give my heart fully to any woman. Yes love her, care for her, but you have to hold something back for yourself, dont rely on them or appear to be desperate, women like a strong minded but sensitive man.

After 12 year relationship ended in 2007, although we sort of grew apart in the end anyway, i sort of sensed it was over, so prepared myself mentally for it. It still didnt stop me thinking about her for a while and thought one day we might get back together, but that soon passes, when you get back out in the field and enjoy yourself again.

 

No matter how difficult you think it may be at the minute, i would have the meeting with your ex and show her how strong and independent of her you have become and dont for one second beg for another chance. If it is likely to happen it will, but dont force it.

If afterwards you know in your heart its not going to happen, then move on keep occupied with another interest and start to live again.

Try and put yourself in her shoes for a minute and look at yourself, your situation, emotionally, financially etc...

 

Im in a relationship now where she worships the ground i walk on lol, i can honestly say i dont feel the same way, but i love her in my own way, but treat her like a queen, so i get the best of both worlds really... There are so many beautiful women in the world and you will find your soulmate one day and you probably wont have to try that hard either, things just happen when you least expect it, but nothing will happen, by staying in and pondering on what could or might have been.

 

 

Oh and spend your hard earned cash on your zed, you know it makes sense:thumbup1:

 

Good luck and we are all here to help

 

Graham

Edited April 10, 201114 yr by groover

Dewi mate, you somehow have to draw a line on this girl, can't tell you how, wish I could mate. I can tell you you will always lose on this girl as she obviously doesn't see you for who you are, rather what she gets out of you :(

 

I hate to say it but she's screwing with your mind which doesn't say much for her. Does she have to drive past your house each day or is she just doing it to get your attention?