Sorry peeps, Jackanory time

 

Since I split from my Ex Wife in 2003 we've got on fairly well considering. Well last year after getting engaged to her 'bloke' a couple of Xmas' ago I suddenly found out that they had split up! So that she could move out she asked me if I'd give her a hand moving and obtain a van and drive it for her. I thought why not, we get on OK still so no problem. As we were arriving at her new place she suddenly said to me that there might be someone waiting there to meet her! It suddenly hit me...... she'd done the same to her new bloke as she'd done to me..... cheated! Stupid cow! I'm not bothered about her, and not all that bothered about him, but it's the kids that she's messing about just for her own selfish reasons.

 

Anyway she's seeing a new bloke so that's her business. I was a little pee'd off because she asked me to have a day off work and help her, but her new bloke didn't bother! Charming!

 

Anyway, to the point of this post..... 'Things' between us have seemed to go down-hill ever since, not because it bothered me, but her attitude towards me, and I'm not entirely sure why although I have a hunch (NO! not the Quasimodo type of hunch!! ;) ) Anyway sometimes I have to work Saturdays, and as I have the kids stop over every other weekend I try to avoid those weekends. Well a few months ago I had to work one of the Saturdays that I had the kids and asked my Ex if i could pick the kids up late on the Saturday afternoon instead of the Friday, to which she went off on one and started moaning that I don't take my responsibilities seriously (WTF???!!!) and she point blank refused to help me out.

 

Now in the meantime I've had my kids over for a full week while she went on holiday with her new bloke (arranged prior to the above incident) I've also arranged to have them for two weeks in the summer school holidays (as i do every year) Well today I've just received a text that reads.....

 

"I need u 2 av the kids on 29th aug 4 a wk plZ as paul is takin me away 4 wk as a thx 4 holl in may and late birthday treat"

 

WTF!!!!! Is she taking he piss or what? The cheeky cow, I've not had a holiday for five bloody years, and she wants to have two in one year and both without the kids, and just to expect me to drop everything for her so she can enjoy herself? Don't get me wrong, I love my kids to bits and would love for them to live with me permanently, but it's just not practical while they at the ages that they are, but I don't see why I should help her out.

 

Is it just me or does her text sound a little out of order? Am I being a little bit touchy?

 

I await some interesting replies........ ;)

Edited July 13, 201015 yr by Daves_Zed
added 'wife' to the EX bit, lol

Well an exchange of a couple of text's have gone on and she is now playing the guilt trip on me!! She's even stated that she'll just leave them on their own then...... and that will play syraight into my hands :D I'll have them off her instantly!

 

I really can't believe how selfish she has become :nono:

are you in a position to apply for custody??? just threaten it to her and she may change her ways.

are you in a position to apply for custody??? just threaten it to her and she may change her ways.

 

Under normal circumstances I wouldn't be in that position, but if things developped in this way then I would step in and take charge of them of them.

while it may be very difficult for you workwise to get time off, if at all possible try to take the kids for the week, can you get help during the day babysitting from friends or family, the kids will remember, they already prob overhear stuff from her, imagine their fears if they heard they could be left alone.

speaking as a woman i hate women who use their kids as bagaining tools against exs, as much as i hate men who sherk their duties, the kids are the important ones

Well said Tulip .. I agree, speaking both as a woman and as a parent who brought up her child alone when her father completely disappeared and gave no support whatever, money or otherwise. :sad:Jo my daughter remembers. She knows. In the end, children have to come first. You sound like a brilliant caring and very loving father, everything about what is written here both by you and others confirms that. Sometimes you have to let your heart rule your head ..:wub:

I really do appreciate your comments and support on this everyone :bow:

Things took a more sinister turn yesterday afternoon after I ignored my Ex's last text (threatening to leave them alone!). I received a text from her new bloke, telling me what IS going to happen whether I like it or not!! :huh: :angry:

So I've ignored that as well at the moment.

It's looking like I will have the kids for the extra week anyway as I've worked out that it's my weekend at the start and she'll go away on the Sunday, leaving me with them anyway!

 

Well the up side is that I get to spend another week with my kids, just a shame I'm supposed to be at work.

He sounds like a prick :xxx:

 

The more time you spend with them the better i say :)

Too right!! :D

Am I missing something? They are your kids, why would you want to stir up this bad feelin with the kids in the middle? Yeah your Ex does sound like a real selfish bitch BUT she does have them living with her all the time as you cannot as its "Not Practical at the ages they are" Well its a good job that it is Practical for her then, otherwise then what?

Sorry mate but you did ask for responce and this really has boiled my piss

Kids should not be used as Pawns because "Grown ups" cannot get along.

 

Have them to stay and enjoy them. They are not kids forever.

:sad:

Am I missing something? They are your kids, why would you want to stir up this bad feelin with the kids in the middle? Yeah your Ex does sound like a real selfish bitch BUT she does have them living with her all the time as you cannot as its "Not Practical at the ages they are" Well its a good job that it is Practical for her then, otherwise then what?

Sorry mate but you did ask for responce and this really has boiled my piss

Kids should not be used as Pawns because "Grown ups" cannot get along.

 

Have them to stay and enjoy them. They are not kids forever.

:sad:

 

Yes and I certainly did ask for opinions and appreciate yours. And to answer your first two questions there...

Yes you are missing something.

I'm not stiring up any bad feeling, as I've not done anything wrong by my kids EVER!

So are you saying that I should just roll over and do exactly as I'm told? I'm not a child, I'm allowed to make my own choices.

The reason why they don't live with me is because I work unsociable hours, and she doesn't, so it makes sense. She also gets a lot of money from the govenment, which I wouldn't, and she gets paid by me, which I would get sod all from her! So it made sense for a better up bringing to let them live with her.

 

Like I said at the top of this I appreciate your input though, but I hope that shed a little more light on it.

 

Dave

I'm intreaged to know what the new boyfriend told you IS going to happen?

Hi Dave

 

Advice from Hard earned experience.... Keep those texts on your phone because if you go for Custody or need to (heaven Forbid !) involve social services then they will be powerful ammunition

 

Not really what you want hear I know but all in the childrens interests

 

Stay strong

 

Tony

Edited July 14, 201015 yr by TonyB

Yes and I certainly did ask for opinions and appreciate yours. And to answer your first two questions there...

Yes you are missing something.

I'm not stiring up any bad feeling, as I've not done anything wrong by my kids EVER!

So are you saying that I should just roll over and do exactly as I'm told? I'm not a child, I'm allowed to make my own choices.

The reason why they don't live with me is because I work unsociable hours, and she doesn't, so it makes sense. She also gets a lot of money from the govenment, which I wouldn't, and she gets paid by me, which I would get sod all from her! So it made sense for a better up bringing to let them live with her.

 

Like I said at the top of this I appreciate your input though, but I hope that shed a little more light on it.

 

Dave

 

Dave I never intended to suggest you have wronged your children at all and appolgise if it came accross that way.

I should probably have not posted at all. I am very sensitive around issues with kids. I had a Son that died just after his 18th Birthday and I would put up with anything and move mountains to just see him one more time.

Sorry again for any offence and hope it all works out for you.

Edited July 14, 201015 yr by mick1

Mick,

 

No offence was taken bud, like I say I appreciate your input, and I'm glad you have said what you have.

 

I'm also sorry for your lose, unfortunately I'm also fully aware of that feeling too!

 

Dave

This new guy sounds a bit of a tosser Dave ??

 

How are the kids with him ? He sounds like a bit of a bully already !

 

Just as a side note, if he used his mobile to text you and you have his number, put it up in every phonebox or public toilet you can find, offering free rides and BJ`S etc !!

 

Wont help your particular problem, but it will cheer you up !!

 

Seriously tho ? Have the bairns, and enjoy them. I know its hard, but it will go full circle and when they are old enough, you will reap the rewards of your efforts just now.

 

Alan...........

well mate all i can say is take the time with your kids mate. obviously she is playing a silly game and using the kids as fun.

 

at least if you take them for the week she cant use it against you and you can say that you was there no-matter what.

 

then when you can kick the selfish bitch in the arse with a lovely letter from your solicitor.

 

 

all that matters is your kids mate!! shame she dont feel the same

 

good luck with it all

Dave pls do us all a favour and give us that c*nts number !! (sorry Ladies)

I will more than happily drop him a line and tell him really what is going to happen if he ever tries pulling one like that again !!

Reading this post has really made my blood boil. It sounds like they deserve each other!! One day she will really regret acting this way and the sooner the better

 

keep your chin up mate

 

pls don't take any sh1t from that **** we are always here :2guns::2guns:!

Not defending the new bloke at all and in no way should he have text Dave but who knows what she's actually told him. No disrespect to women but some have a way of beding the truth so they come out looking like anglels

no disrepect vijay but to text dave and tell him whats going to happen aint on.

Whatever sh1t she might have told him he still has no right to talk to dave like that !!!!

Totally agree Sunbeam19, he should have some morals and stay out of what isn't his business. My point was she could easily turn everything round and make Dave out to be the bad guy ;) The new bloke will get what's coming when she meets the next bloke, people who cheat go through life doing that....................

Totally agree Sunbeam19, he should have some morals and stay out of what isn't his business. My point was she could easily turn everything round and make Dave out to be the bad guy ;) The new bloke will get what's coming when she meets the next bloke, people who cheat go through life doing that....................

 

Dead right Vijay point taken and agreed:punk:

Vijay, I think you've hit the nail on the head there. I wouldn't be surprised as to what she would tell him, after all she's always had the opinion that I'm living it up :rofl: yeah right, as if! I think she lives in some sort of a deluded world.

 

Anyway I'm not responding to any texts, if she wants to phone me or talk directly then fair do, I'll talk to her (he can f**k off!)

 

This new guy sounds like he may have a bit of a temper, and me refusing to 'change my schedule' must of wound him up....... shame ;) I've already had my daughter say to me that he once said to her "Stop f**king winding your mother up, because when she's wound up it winds me up!" (only my daughter didn't say 'F**king', she just hinted to me) and apparently this was said directly infront of my Ex and she agreed!! :eek: Nice parenting skills he has there, but I was more annoyed with my Ex for not stopping him from swaring infront of the kids in the first place :angry:

Come on don't be boring give us the number lol :2guns:

hi bud, i have 4 children , 3 with my first ex stacy who is great lets me see my children whenever i like and would do anything for me and 1 boy callled zach who is almost 3 with karon who i split with 2.5 years ago , i am now with the love of my life donna who ive been with for almost 2 years and we are expecting a little baby together .

i went to court to see my son zach as his mum hates me so now i have a court order in place which says she has to let me see him once a week and every alternate week she must let my partner see him too,every week she trys something on without fail says nasty stuff about my partner nasty texts and will just gener ally mess me around , im due back to court in september to try and get weekend access for him to stay overnight here and know she will use anything possible to stop that from happening , the point of me telling you this is that some women use children as pawns then play a guilt trip on you because they know that it hurts you unfortunately there is nothing that can be done apart from you being a great dad and your children knowing so , i hope you get this all all other matters resolved mate all the best david

Hi Dave ... can I just butt in and say that I think your ex will do what she wants regardless ... in defence of women we're not all that way. I started my life four times and Tony is the best thing that ever happened to me EVER xx At the end of the day you need to do what is right by the kids. They are who are important here. And time with them will only be positive and bring you closer for future years. And that's worth it every time!

 

I have a 4 year old daughter to my ex, and I speak with the boot on the other foot, because he does the absolute bare minimum with our daughter, has only just started contributing financially to her upbringing despite us splitting 2.5 years ago, and when he does have our daughter he usually lets his mam take care of her. Anyway, I would agree with what the others have said, which is that, if you can get the time off work, do, because I think its great that you do spend time with your kids and enjoy the time you have with them. Might be an appropriate time for you to discuss with your ex about being flexible tho and pointing out to her that it should be a quid pro quo arrangement and that you would appreciate her taking a more flexible approach to access times etc.

Its sad when dads don't wanna spend time with their kids - I can't understand why my ex wants to have the bare minimum contact with our girl. Fortunately my boyfriend is really good with her and pretty hands on and she loves him to bits.

hope you sort it

Jane