Got sent this email from some random person (within our company)

 

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE (check the detail it goes into - brilliant!!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008

 

NEW OFFICE POLICY

 

Dress Code:

 

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

 

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

 

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

 

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

 

 

Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

 

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

 

 

Bathroom Breaks:

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet

paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the

'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

 

 

Lunch Break: (Love this one)

 

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

 

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

 

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

 

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,

frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

 

The Management

Personal Days:

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

 

LMFAO :rofl: :rofl: Especially at the above :rofl: :rofl:

 

Someone had far too much free time on their hands to build that! :rofl:

LMFAO :rofl: :rofl: Especially at the above :rofl: :rofl:

 

Someone had far too much free time on their hands to build that! :rofl:

 

^exactly what i was going to say, the creator should send it to an art gallery, i have seen worse things on show

LMAO thats excellent. love the attention to detail in the cubicle