I have a calendar on my desk, and every day it has survival tips for various things… today’s might come handy to you lot lol

 

How to survive if your car careens down a mountainside

 

1.Apply firm and steady breaking pressure

 

2.Maintain a firm grip on the steering wheel – with your hands at ten and two O clock keep your thumbs outside the steering wheel

 

3. Steer the car downhill

 

4. Downshift after regaining control to slow your momentum

 

5. Turn the wheel in the same direction the car is sliding

 

6. Use steady braking pressure to stop the car

 

7. If your braking does not stop the car, aim the centre of your car over a large rock or fallen tree to ‘high centre’ the car

 

8. If you still cannot stop the car, slow to 20mph or less and ram the car head on into a tree or large boulder

 

 

 

:rofl: like you're blasting down a hill and (number 7) miracuasly there just happens to be a large rock or fallen tree in your way .... and (number 8) blasting down the hill.... if you can get to 20mph or less why can't you just stop! :smash:

 

Who thinks this shite up :rofl:

Surely aiming your car at a big rock or tree is precicely what you don't want to do, unless it's the choice between that or a cliff edge!

Generally, to slow the car without brakes you should steer into the hedge/verge. Trees are to be avoided at all costs !

I think these tips should be included in next years club calendar! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

couple more :)

 

Wednesday August 6

 

How to survive adrift at sea

 

1) Take whatever supplies you can – especially water, Many canned foods, particularly vegtables are packed in water, so take those if you can.

 

2) Protect yourself from the elements – you are more likely to die of exposure or hypothermia than of anything else

 

3) Find food if you can – If your raft is floating for several weeks, seaweed will form on its underside and fish will naturally congregate in the shade beneath you

 

4) If you see a plane or boat nearby try to signal it.

 

 

Tuesday August 12

 

How to survive a flash flood in a car

 

1) Watch cars in front of you – if water is rising halfway up on the other cars, do not proceed

 

2) Estimate the water depth – a car will stall in 6 inches of water

 

3) Exit immediately if the car stalls or begins to float

 

4) Walk or run to safety – if you are trapped in the water, attempt to float.

Edited August 13, 200817 yr by 300zx_girl

How to survive a Direct Nuclear attack

 

Head staight for your Neclear fall out shelter.

 

Proceed to the 95th subterainial level kiss you arse and pray.

 

Mmmmm I asume this is a very tounge in cheek calender you have

I don't know how to thank you for all these great tips Athene :bow: You may well of saved my life in the future :rofl: :rofl:

couple more :)

 

Wednesday August 6

 

How to survive adrift at sea

 

1) Take whatever supplies you can – especially water, Many canned foods, particularly vegerables are packed in water, so take those if you can.

 

Thats great, its like the think people "Plan" to be adrift at sea. :rofl:

They absoloutly crack me up - I'll keep you posted on any more :) you never know when they might come in handy! :D

 

tomorrow - how to survive an attack from a mountain lion :D (I assume, one step will tell you to run!)

They absoloutly crack me up - I'll keep you posted on any more :) you never know when they might come in handy! :D

 

tomorrow - how to survive an attack from a mountain lion :D (I assume, one step will tell you to run!)

 

Yeah and another one is to keep some raw meat in your backpack to keep it occupied while you run! :rofl: :rofl:

How to escape from a mountain lion

 

1. Try to make yourself appear bigger by opening your coat - The lion is less likely to attack a larger animal

 

2. If the lion still behaves aggressevly, throw stones - convince the lion you are not prey.

 

3. if you are attacked, fight back. Most mountain lions are small enough that an average size human can ward off an attack. Do not curl up and play dead.

 

 

:rofl:

Edited August 14, 200817 yr by 300zx_girl

Bloody hell, i read it and its pathetic and yet i'm still LMAO :rofl: :rofl:

If you are walking through an area that is likely to have wild lions, or any other large wild animal for that matter, make sure that you take a companion with you that cannot run as fast as you............do I have to say more?

If you are walking through an area that is likely to have wild lions, or any other large wild animal for that matter, make sure that you take a companion with you that cannot run very fast............do I have to say more?:rofl::rofl:

or take a shot gun?!!! simple, no opening your coat on a cold day or risk getting nasty scratches... just blow the coonts head off.......

How to deal with army ants

 

1. Wear long pants and tuck your pants into your boots or socks

 

2. Watch where you step

 

3. If the ants climb on you, step out of the column or mass of ants – jump and move up and down to dislodge the ants, then pick the remaining ants from your clothing and body

 

4. If you are stung, treat the area as you would treat the sting of a bee or wasp. Stings can produce burning and local pain, swelling and itching. Apply a cool compress to the sting area. Take an antibiotic if one is available.

 

 

:D

 

tomorrow - how to survive a stadium riot.... (but you'll have to wait - Im out on the road tomorrow :D :D )

How to deal with army ants

 

1. Wear long pants and tuck your pants into your boots or socks

 

2. Watch where you step

 

3. If the ants climb on you, step out of the column or mass of ants – jump and move up and down to dislodge the ants, then pick the remaining ants from your clothing and body

 

4. If you are stung, treat the area as you would treat the sting of a bee or wasp. Stings can produce burning and local pain, swelling and itching. Apply a cool compress to the sting area. Take an antibiotic if one is available.

 

 

:D

 

tomorrow - how to survive a stadium riot.... (but you'll have to wait - Im out on the road tomorrow :D :D )

 

LMAO, pick the remaining ants off so that you can end up with burning, painful, swelled, itchy fingers :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

How to survive a stadium riot

 

Scan the crowd - Determine the focus of the rioting and physically distance yourself as quickly as possible

 

Create a protective helmet - stuff crumpled up newspaper or cardboard inside your hat for cushioning. It you do not have a hat; place an empty popcorn tub or other container over your head. (lmfao)

 

Move away from the mascots - regardless of whether they are the focus ofthe riot, both teams mascots are especially venerable to attack.

 

Watch for projectiles - Bend your knees and keep your head low to avoidflying cans, bottles, pennants, water balloons, rocks, pipes, benches,people and other objects. (pmsl @ people)

 

Move side-ways through the crowd to the nearest exit - Avoid moving forward (toward the centre of the riot) or backwards (against the surging mob).

keep an eye for those nasty people throwing water balloons tut tut!!