me and my good lady might be splitting up ater 6 years, we have a son together who we love very much but i think the time has come where she has had enough of me and vice versa, i'll have nowhere to live and she will move back to her ma's which is gonna be about 25 miles away, i can bearly afford to get to work so i'm never gonna see my son, a second job is out of the question as i'm knackerd now so another job will kill me.

 

i love her more than anything in the world and she knows i do but like i said i din't think we can carry on like this, i come in from work and she goes out to work so we never see eachother, has anyone else been in this situation who can give me some advice

 

Regards, Chris :cry:

Sorry to read this matey :(

 

My brother has just split up from his other half after 14 yrs with 2 kids. Same situation, they never saw each other because as one came in from work the other was leaving.

 

Is a job change viable for either of you?

 

Pete

not really pete, shes training to be a nurse and i've just got a managers job for jaguar

Youve got a young child, so its up to the pair of you to work at it, everyone has ups and downs, its upto you two to put the extra effort in.

It sounds like you are both run down, and are working so you have NO quality time to spend together. if she is worth it mate, then do what you can to sort it. try and make time for her, and make her feel special. you obviously still love her mate, so dont give up on her. :)

sounds like you will have to change jobs mate tbh

 

how are things when your together on weekends etc ?

It sounds like you are both run down, and are working so you have NO quality time to spend together. if she is worth it mate, then do what you can to sort it. try and make time for her, and make her feel special. you obviously still love her mate, so dont give up on her. :)

yeah we are both run down Rich, its getting to the point where shes having to work 15 hour shifts just to live so shes fooked all the time, i've told her to calm down but she does'nt listen

 

sounds like you will have to change jobs mate tbh

 

how are things when your together on weekends etc ?

 

i dont think its an option really Paul, i've thouhgt about changing jobs but its gonna be the same sort of hours and she cant leave her uni course cos she's half way through it, as for weekends we don't really see each other

Sorry to here this mate. As stated above if your still in love with her then keep at it.

 

Who first said about the split you or her?

sorry to hear mate.. just sort it out you know you will anyway.

good luck.

chris. me & the missus have just gone through all this after 19yrs mate. she moved to her mothers for a week to have a break. i dont want to go into detail as to why she moved, but she wasnt happy with a few things. instead of saying something, she bottled it up, & this was the result. we are now working at sorting the issues out so shes happy. EDITED: just to make it clear. spending money on the car is NOT one of the issues. lol

 

i know my situation isnt the same as yours, but in most break ups, it seems the lack of not talking & not being honest with each other plays a major part, plus making time for each other.

 

 

is it not possible for her to change the hours she works chris ?. i do know couples that are nurses who do manage to change their shifts so they get time to be together.

Sorry to here this mate. As stated above if your still in love with her then keep at it.

Who first said about the split you or her?

cheers Paul, she said it this morning

sorry to hear mate.. just sort it out you know you will anyway.

good luck.

 

we'll probably get through it jim, shes just tired but shes takin out on me

its not really a case of changing her hours Paul, she needs the money cos shes well in the red and i dont earn enough to help her so she needs to work, shes going on holiday with her mam in a couple of weeks so its gonna be enough time for it to blow over (i hope)

I blame the goverment, when people struggle to live and just get taxed its bound to play a part in break ups hope you work it out.

Chris, i can relate to your case, when i ran a pub and was doing 100 hours plus a week, it was hard but at least she could come and sit with me and see me.

 

Now doing the work i do, with the unsociable shifts and hours i do, we go through the same as you, just seem to be two ships crossing in the night.

 

The only way we seem to keep ourselves sane, is we chat for a bit when i get in, no matter what time or for how long. could be for 10 min, could be for an hour. But we keep as much contact as we can. The other thing is that when we both have time off together, we make sure we do something and not just sit around the house.

 

Communication is key mate, you keep that going and youll do alright

 

HTH and all the best

 

Nick

cheers Nick, i'm gonna do my best to keep it going but like i say it could be for good this time, lets wait and see eh

Chris you poor thing.

 

First things first, do NOT get a new job, you have been promoted and are doing well in your career, you should not lose that, you should be proud of what youve achieved.

 

Any job you get would clash with Andreas shifts.

 

Andrea is working so hard as well as studying and being a mother! she aint got it easy.

 

Its life Im afraid thousands of couples manage, Im sure you and Andrea can, shes a cracking lass.

its not really a case of changing her hours Paul, she needs the money cos shes well in the red and i dont earn enough to help her so she needs to work, shes going on holiday with her mam in a couple of weeks so its gonna be enough time for it to blow over (i hope)

 

 

should it not be you & her going on holiday ?, that would be the ideal time to get some time together.

 

i'm gonna do my best to keep it going but like i say it could be for good this time, lets wait and see eh

 

 

i really hope you can work it out mate. on msn she seems to have a very good sense of humour, which is a good thing to have. good luck mate. you can catch me on msn if you want to talk ;). i may not reply straight away unless im at pc. i must say also, that when my missus left i got myself into a bit of a mess, i would like to thank andy, saz & lisa for being there for me when i needed someone to talk to, kept me sane. its not easy spending half your life with someone, then it be taken away, if you get what i mean.

Chris you poor thing.

 

First things first, do NOT get a new job, you have been promoted and are doing well in your career, you should not lose that, you should be proud of what youve achieved.

 

Any job you get would clash with Andreas shifts.

 

Andrea is working so hard as well as studying and being a mother! she aint got it easy.

 

Its life Im afraid thousands of couples manage, Im sure you and Andrea can, shes a cracking lass.

your dead right Saz she is a cracking lass and she works bloody hard i think its all starting to get to her with it being so hard

should it not be you & her going on holiday ?, that would be the ideal time to get some time together.

 

 

 

 

i really hope you can work it out mate. on msn she seems to have a very good sense of humour, which is a good thing to have. good luck mate. you can catch me on msn if you want to talk ;). i may not reply straight away unless im at pc. i must say also, that when my missus left i got myself into a bit of a mess, i would like to thank andy, saz & lisa for being there for me when i needed someone to talk to, kept me sane. its not easy spending half your life with someone, then it be taken away, if you get what i mean.

at the time of booking the holiday i could'nt afford it cos i'd just spent a fortune with duffers :headvswal but thats by the by

i know what you mean, when i broke up with my ex she would'nt let me see the kids and i turned to the drink which was'nt good, thats when i met andrea and she put me back on the straight and narrow

Listen mate, dont give up up, even if it means getting shot of the Zed, it's a piece of metal at the end of the day, your family's happiness is what counts.

Listen mate, dont give up up, even if it means getting shot of the Zed, it's a piece of metal at the end of the day, your family's happiness is what counts.

 

its really funny you say that actually Rich, its the first argument we've had when the car has'nt been mentioned :rofl:

 

lets just hope it does'nt come to that though eh :rolleyes:

Listen mate, dont give up up, even if it means getting shot of the Zed, it's a piece of metal at the end of the day, your family's happiness is what counts.

 

 

could not agree with you more there rich. when me & kaz talked, i did ask her if the car, and what i was spending on it was an issue, & she said no. i did say to her that if it was, then i would sell it without any hesitation, but she said, dont you dare sell it.

Fookin hell Chris I'm shocked mate!!! You two seem great together and it would be a real shame to see that go to waste, not to mention the implications with Bradley :( Sounds like you both need some time together to talk and sort things out mate! Surely her uni course will be stopping soon for summer? Can you not plan to spend some more time together then?

 

You know where I am if you need a chat bud :)

seconded, me an Andy will welcome you here whenever you need!

Sorry to hear this Chris. Hope everything works out for the best for you both mate. Take care and chin up. Let me know if you want to chat:)

Fookin hell Chris I'm shocked mate!!! You two seem great together and it would be a real shame to see that go to waste, not to mention the implications with Bradley :( Sounds like you both need some time together to talk and sort things out mate! Surely her uni course will be stopping soon for summer? Can you not plan to spend some more time together then?

 

You know where I am if you need a chat bud :)

 

seconded, me an Andy will welcome you here whenever you need!

 

cheers guys i really appreciate it, the problem with her course Andy is it does'nt stop for summer as its a full time course, i've text her asking if shes calmed down yet but had no reply, i think i'll leave her alone for the time being plus she does'nt finish til 2am so i wont get chance to talk to her tonight, then i'm at work in the morning and when i get home shes going back to work so i'm screwed both ways

Sorry to hear this Chris. Hope everything works out for the best for you both mate. Take care and chin up. Let me know if you want to chat:)

 

cheers lisa i'll probably be on msn tonight so i could do with a few familiar faces and a cheer up session :)