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The European Commission has just announced an agreement

whereby English will be the official language of the

European Union rather than German, which was the other

possibility. *

 

*As part of the negotiations, the British

Government conceded that English spelling had

some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-

year phase-in plan that would become known as

"Euro-English". *

*In the first year, "s" will replace the soft

"c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil

servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be

dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up

konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less

letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm

in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"

will be replaced with "f". This will make words

like fotograf 20% shorter. *

*In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new

spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage

where! more komplikated changes are possible.*

*Governments will enkourage the removal of

double letters which have always ben a deterent

to akurate speling. *

*Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the

silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it

should go away. *

*By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps

such as** *

*replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". *

*During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be

dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz

fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. *

*Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and

evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.

Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. *

*Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking

German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. *

*If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.*

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