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2007 dumbest headlines

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 200 7:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[No, really?]

 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

 

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

[What a guy!]

 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

 

War Dims Hope for Peace

[i can see where it might have that effect!]

 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

[You think?]

 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

[Who would have thought!]

 

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

[They may be on to something!]

 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

[he probably IS the battery charge!]

 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

[Weren't they fat enough?!]

 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas

in Spacecraft

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

[Taste like chicken?]

 

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

[boy, are they tall!]

 

And the winner is....

 

Typhoon Rips Through

Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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