Dear Wife:

 

i'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

i've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show

for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me

that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you

came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked

your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You

ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of

your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or

anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on

me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

 

Your

EX-Husband

 

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West

Virginia together! Have a great life!

 

__________________________________________________________

 

Dear Ex-Husband -

 

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that

you

and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far

cry

from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out

your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID

notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came

to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not

to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And

when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with

my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

 

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the

$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a

coincidence

that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and

bought us

two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything

happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you

always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you

won't get a dime from me. So take care.

 

 

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

 

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born

Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Lol

pmsl at the last sentence. :rofl: :rofl:

 

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born

Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

 

:confused: