Advice please

 

My sister has been seeing this right dickhead for a while now, he's the biggest loser ive ever seen, no prospects, full of tattoos, about as thick as you can get and the list goes on!!

 

Now im really easy going but after meeting this guy and giving him a chance i just couldnt take to him, made matters worse when they moved in together and he just took the pi55 out of my sister all the time.

 

Anyway they were having relationship problems so she falls pregnant :mac1:

 

So i wasnt too happy but after a while she split up with him :nana2: she had to give up work so i ended up buying all the baby stuff for her, pram etc as he didnt provide anything at all!! ive even been paying half of her rent for the last 5 months until she can claim benefits etc

 

Anyway she has the baby a few weeks ago and the day after she gives birth she is back with the to55er, moved back in as if nothing has happened.

 

So i feel not just let down but totally used, she has lied about alot of stuff and tbh it wouldnt suprise me if they never split up in the first place and just used me so i dont want anything to do with her at the moment or the baby, my wife does want to be involved with the baby and i wont stop her but i just have no feelings what so ever and couldnt care less at the moment about my sister.

 

So am i wrong?? my sister keeps passing messages onto me saying it will be me that loses out!! but tbh as i dont careless i dont see that

 

Hate families LOL

 

Mike

fookin families mate dont get me started. but if i were you and im in a simular postion i would want to be there for the kid and no one else

my sister keeps passing messages onto me saying it will be me that loses out!!

i think her saying this to you is a guilt trip though and from what your saying it is like your been used

Difficult one mate, but bloods thicker than water........................best thing is try & talk to her on her own & explain how you feel.

As the saying goes.. 'you can choose your friends, but you can't choose

your family.'

You've done the right thing mike, above & beyond the call of duty imo.

It seems this guy will just continue taking the piss out of your sister again,

only this time she'll have a baby to contend with too, so inevitably... it

will be her that loses out, not you. Not unless you're willing to bail her

out of the shit again!

Just keep your distance from them, she'll be in touch when she needs

something, then the balls in your court. ;)

As the saying goes.. 'you can choose your friends, but you can't choose

your family.'

You've done the right thing mike, above & beyond the call of duty imo.

It seems this guy will just continue taking the piss out of your sister again,

only this time she'll have a baby to contend with too, so inevitably... it

will be her that loses out, not you. Not unless you're willing to bail her

out of the shit again!

Just keep your distance from them, she'll be in touch when she needs

something, then the balls in your court. ;)

 

100%

She should count her lucky stars she has such a caring brother.

 

She will fall fould of him again and then she will come crying back to you, its only a matter of time so i would stand by your guns and let her learn by her own mistakes. Its the only way in these circumstances, the more you tell her the more she will be determined to prove you wrong and stay with him to make a point, so stand back let it take its course and make sure you tell her "i bloody well told you so"

 

Its only a matter of time

sister or not if she has took the piss then in my book she gets the same treatment as anyone else who takes the piss........my sister split up with her fella and as a favour her and my mum asked if he could stay at my spare house till he got himself sorted....12 months later he was still there having not paid me any money at all towards any bills....i got a phone bill for £300 also at which point i went mental and threw the ****er out. and get this my sister went nuts saying how could i throw my own nephews dad out on the street

 

i told her to fook right off and also until the bill was paid i would not be getting anything for birthdays christmas for said nephew......that was 3 years ago and we havent spoken since and ive still never seen the money my mam still goes on at me every week to stop being so stubborn about it

 

nobody takes my piss and gets away with it

No way would I stick around for ayone who takes the Piss family or not

 

But you don't have to write her off just don't go out your way to be civil and give her fook all

Hi mate i am in the same sort of situation with my brother i paid his mortage for him over xmas so he could buy a few prezzies when it came to xmas day i got him a card but he asked where his presant was was not impressed. but i think you are in the right mate just ignor her when they fall out again its you she will turn to like sideshowbob siad then the ball is in you court.

ps im covered in tattoos... but IM SPECIAL my mum told me :p

sory kirbs, dont take this the wrong way please.. pretty please.

But the dickhead is your sister.

 

wouldnt want to be in your shoes, but I am afraid you cant help some people, so stay the hell out of it when it all goes tits

Your a good brother fella.

 

Hope things work themselves out. Dont know the full story so cant comment, but hope its all ok soon.

I dont think your out of order, i would do the same thing, my attitude is you got yourself in this situation get your self out of it, i was doing you and your baby a favor not him, now you taken the piss, you've hurt me by taking the piss so fook ya get on with it! Is what i would of said and done. Its ok for people to say "but she still family" etc and be all righteous and kind hearted but its those people that get the piss taken out of them for their good nature, nothing wrong with being good natured but its knowing when to draw the line before you end up the victim thats why people are like they are these days, nice trate human nature! I would let them get on with it she will see the light at the end of the day, its proberbly him having some sort of hold over her, especially now she has his baby, dont think she can be a very strong willed person? ( no disrespect to her, just the way some people are)

All I can say bud is be there when the kid needs help - the babe is prob the only innocent one from what you say.

 

As for sister and side kick, i'll would make them prove to you beyond a doubt they're worthy of your freindship.

 

As for financial help....sorry to say it but - it will do them no good as parents unless THEY can support their own family.

 

My 2 pence worth bud, you did the right thing.

 

Marc

sory kirbs, dont take this the wrong way please.. pretty please.

But the dickhead is your sister.

 

wouldnt want to be in your shoes, but I am afraid you cant help some people, so stay the hell out of it when it all goes tits

 

trust me ive told her.!?

 

cheers guys and gals, glad most tend to agree than just staying out of it and keeping my distance seems to be the best way around it, just got to hope that she fooks him off, but tbh even then its going to take time for me to forgive her.

 

i think the worrying thing is i really hand on heart dont care at the moment if i see my sister again or the baby, im not a baby person anyway but when ive been at my mums and the baby has been there i really really dont want to have anything to do with it so the christening etc is going to be fun

 

Cheers everyone

 

Mike

Just want to add bud...she may have been feeling very vulnerable with a new baby....as blokes we have no idea what its like. She may have been so worried about bringing the baby up that she felt compelled to hide the truth.

 

As for tw@tboy, he should have been there from day 1.

 

Its tells you all you need to know about him and whats hes after for turning up after the baby's born.....absolutely no excuse for that.

Just want to add bud...she may have been feeling very vulnerable with a new baby....as blokes we have no idea what its like. She may have been so worried about bringing the baby up that she felt compelled to hide the truth.

 

As for tw@tboy, he should have been there from day 1.

 

Its tells you all you need to know about him and whats hes after for turning up after the baby's born.....absolutely no excuse for that.

 

I would like to think so but in all honesty i dont think they ever broke up but it was just easier to tell peopl they did.

 

I think i'm pissed off as well as my mother has always put pressure on me to help out, when they moved into their first flat (3rd floor) my dad helped them move in but when he turned up to the flat her boyfield or thicktw@tmonkey features as i refer to him as LOL had swapped shifts at work so he wasnt there so my dad had to move them in on his own so guess who (with a bad back at the time) had to go and help my poor dad move furniture up 3 flights of stairs!!!

 

Ahhhh getting mad again now :rofl:

Kirbz, if you want naff all to do with her then do just that.

 

She decided to have this child therefore the onus is on her to look after it NO ONE else!

 

You have done as much as you can, she will be the one eating humble pie when it all goes tits up again

give the lazy coont a good spanking and tell him more to come if he dont sort his act out or hurts your sister in anyway

sounds like she jsut used you m8

 

avoid them and they will come running back then tell them to fook off, tbh she has took the piss and is doing it again and doing a guilt trip on you.

give the lazy coont a good spanking and tell him more to come if he dont sort his act out or hurts your sister in anyway

 

tbh he's pathetic, he's pretty much as big as me, stocky used to work out at the gym etc and when he was being a tw@t before i went to asda where he works and "had a word" next thing i get a call from sister saying he'd been into the managers office shaking and was scared to come out :rofl: :rofl:

 

god he makes me sooooo annoyed, more so because my sister somehow picked him as a boyfriend even though shes pretty with a nice figure etc and he just looks like a gorilla and half the brain capacity

tbh he's pathetic, he's pretty much as big as me, stocky used to work out at the gym etc and when he was being a tw@t before i went to asda where he works and "had a word" next thing i get a call from sister saying he'd been into the managers office shaking and was scared to come out :rofl: :rofl:

 

god he makes me sooooo annoyed, more so because my sister somehow picked him as a boyfriend even though shes pretty with a nice figure etc and he just looks like a gorilla and half the brain capacity

 

That sounds like that was just an excuse not to have to do any work, he seems preety clued up when it comes to dodging work? hmm Asda he's got great prospects then :rofl:

 

Aint that always the way though, you see these pretty little things with these neanderthal men, they all watch to much Eastenders and want a mitchal brother :rofl:

i'll add my opinion if i may to the broad range of views already expressed. what you did was right, and as someone would say to me, "another brick on your castle in heaven". you looked out for your family whatever the circumstances and that was a good thing to do. it sounds like youve been used by both of them. it sounds like as soon as he heard your sister was up the duff he bottled it and wanted out. your sister came to you for support and money, but didnt make it clear what had happened (ie. had they really split up?).

its easy to say talk to her about it and sort it out but sometimes thats a tough thing to do. you may have been taken for a ride once, but make it clear it aint gonna happen again - you gave her £xxxx in support when it should have been the boyfriend.

all IMO of course :)