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Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
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Q. What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A. Spitting, swallowing and garglin.
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Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A. You know she'll swallow.
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Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A. A mechanic!
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Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
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Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
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Q. How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A. The one with the dirty knees.
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Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.
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Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade: Who has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.
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Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.
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Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her t*ts went.
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Q. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
A. Not screaming like all the passengers on his bus!
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Q: What's good on a pizza, but bad on a pussy?
A: Crust.
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Q: Why does Miss Piggy shower with honey?
A: Because Kermit loves sweet and sour pork.
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In a train carriage there was an Englishman, a Frenchman, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady.
After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.
When they leave the tunnel, the Frenchman had a big red slap mark on his cheek. And here is what went though there minds....
The blonde thought -
"That French son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face"
The fat lady thought -
"This dirty old Frenchman laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
The Frenchman thought -
"That fu*king Englishman put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".
The Englishman thought -
"I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that French tw*t again"
Matty.
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