September 25, 200619 yr >How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night >drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home?' > >As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the >pub to your house. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer >Scooter. > >The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to > >the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large >batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following >fashion:- >The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring >gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many >sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer >Scooter. > >The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via >a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion >of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the >second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?' > >Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to >Be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries). > >An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time >segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates >that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third >question after a night out 'What the hell happened?' > >With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing >Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending >order,those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT >is not necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is >regained in discussions over a period of time. > >Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the >scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to >the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences. With recent models >including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain >specializing in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another question >answered!! > >For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from >other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots >are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the >stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity >springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS >(Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins. The >final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the >TAS(Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can >apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night. > >PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably > >get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt. :rofl: :duffer: :hurl:
>How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night
>drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home?'
>
>As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the
>pub to your house. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer
>Scooter.
>
>The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to >
>the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large
>batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following
>fashion:-
>The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring
>gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many
>sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer
>Scooter.
>
>The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via
>a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion
>of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the
>second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?'
>
>Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to
>Be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries).
>
>An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time
>segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates
>that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third
>question after a night out 'What the hell happened?'
>
>With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing
>Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending
>order,those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT
>is not necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is
>regained in discussions over a period of time.
>
>Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the
>scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to
>the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences. With recent models
>including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain
>specializing in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another question
>answered!!
>
>For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from
>other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots
>are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the
>stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity
>springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS
>(Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins. The
>final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the
>TAS(Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can
>apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night.
>
>PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably >
>get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.
:rofl: :duffer: :hurl: