need some help guys

 

been with the missus almost 6 years (not married) brought a house about 6 months ago

 

i love her to bits but we have not been getting along for a while

 

i dont wanna lose her but its like everything i do is wrong

 

she says i have done nothing wrong but i can tell its sumthing deeper than not doing the washing up or sumthing

 

most of my m8's are single so its hard getting advice

 

we need to relight the fire if u know what i mean

 

not sure how to though?

 

need help :(

you just keep asking her whats going on.........she'll tell you in the end......it maybe nothing serious....send some flowers,take her out for a romantic meal,somewhere quiet......maybe since youve moved in together youve been neglecting her......youve been together 2long to let everything go.....................................................

need some help guys

 

been with the missus almost 6 years (not married) brought a house about 6 months ago

 

i love her to bits but we have not been getting along for a while

 

i dont wanna lose her but its like everything i do is wrong

 

she says i have done nothing wrong but i can tell its sumthing deeper than not doing the washing up or sumthing

 

most of my m8's are single so its hard getting advice

 

we need to relight the fire if u know what i mean

 

not sure how to though?

 

need help :(

 

Know what you mean mate - I'm similar, but only four years. Try and get away for a weekend and do something different - I'd say most people's problem is routine - get up, work, go home, eat, watch tv, maybe shag, sleep... repeat!

 

It's unlikely you've done anything wrong - she's probably feeling the same!!

 

Chin up!

 

Rich

need some help guys

 

been with the missus almost 6 years (not married) brought a house about 6 months ago

 

i love her to bits but we have not been getting along for a while

 

i dont wanna lose her but its like everything i do is wrong

 

she says i have done nothing wrong but i can tell its sumthing deeper than not doing the washing up or sumthing

 

most of my m8's are single so its hard getting advice

 

we need to relight the fire if u know what i mean

 

not sure how to though?

 

need help :(

 

Ditto M8 love Mrs Ball to bit's but she just ain't Happy. I don't think women know what they want. I don't think it is possible to keep a woman happy all the time. Good Luck Bud but we all seem to be in the same boat M8.

 

Can't live with em can't live without em. Don't have much faith in women anymore, I get more kisses of me dog..... :D

Can't live with em can't live without em.

I have been with my missus for 18 years and the saying for me is "cant live with them, cant kill them" :D

It is all about the time of year mate as well, people really do argue more when its cold, wet, miserable and also the stress of christmas looming, if you can get away for a weekend do it. I take my misses away for one Night a year without the kids (only in england) and spoil her rotten and it seems to

cheer her up no end.

Stick with it Mate and good luck

Women are funny, have you been asking her how was her day. Women have about 15000 words to use in a day where a man has around 1500. I women dont use up thier words then problems start. Not saying that you havent but you need to let her talk about what going on with her. Show interest in what she does. Additionally the moving in together thing is quite a major change. Small things add up to big things. You might want to have a chat and see how she feels the last six months have gone. Ask her are the any things you do that bother her and show your willingness to change those habbits. Communication is the key. Its sad but BT got it right "Its good to talk"

 

Good luck

stick in there

Konrad

eeerrmmm...no real answer for the prefect soloution... :(

You just have to try not to concentrate on why its so bad at the mo...otherwise it'll just aggitate the situation bud....trust me..I drive a Zed :rofl:

But instead as said above do something different instead of routine...

Oh...and a Chinese and large helpings of chocolate works a treat ;)

 

Not found the answer myself yet but if you find out then let me know :eek:

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neil Morris

Can't live with em can't live without em.

 

I have been with my missus for 18 years and the saying for me is "cant live with them, cant kill them"

:rofl: :rofl: Soooooooooooooooooooooo True :rofl: :rofl:

you may not like what i do

 

if ourlass is pissing me off with something like this, she gets told to spit it out and tell me whats wrong or go and fook off round her mams till she has decided to strighten her face

 

i hate all this silent treatment, and all this there is nothing wrong business

 

just get to the point and get it out in the open otherwise it will just eat away at her and you and make it worse in the long run

need some help guys

 

been with the missus almost 6 years (not married) brought a house about 6 months ago

 

i love her to bits but we have not been getting along for a while

 

i dont wanna lose her but its like everything i do is wrong

 

she says i have done nothing wrong but i can tell its sumthing deeper than not doing the washing up or sumthing

 

most of my m8's are single so its hard getting advice

 

we need to relight the fire if u know what i mean

 

not sure how to though?

 

need help :(

Ok first and foremost, from experience I have found that asking what is wrong will get you nowhere, she will talk to you about problems when she is ready. If you keep badgering her to tell you whats up then it will prolong her deciding to tell you.

 

You need to make her feel loved and wanted (going though all this atm with mr mrs and we're seriously talking about it now otherwise we are going to have to quit :(). It can be simple things as walking up behind her and putting your arms round her with an I love you slipped in, when she is not suspecting it. Stuff like that really mate. I'm sure my mrs will have an input for you at some point mate but this is the best i can do. More of what me and the mrs are talkin about is specific to our situation, and a lot of it is supporting each other in life whatever your circumstances (for example we have a baby and live on the breadline atm because i lost my job but no-one has been more supportive than miss astrassuck!!!

mine rag me about not putting my toothbrush away not wiping

 

off my feet good enough before in go to bed . i mean i could go onand on .

 

.. my weapon is ive got a foul mouth which she s afarid ..of ..

 

when she goes on too much i start cursing f..ck......nnnn

 

and she calms down and cry ,,, by the way she lived the last 25 yrs

 

in england and move here to live with me now going on 4 years..

 

im confuse is this a thing with english women . christ ill like to know...... :headvswal

Me and Mrs Peach had a rough patch a little while ago (just before I got the Z actually!) and the one thing that helped us was to get away from everything. I don't mean you've got to get on a plane and go to another country (although not a bad idea if you can afford it), just get some time alone away from everyone and everything you know. This way it's just you and her. We went down to Torquay for a few days, and spent most of our time just walking (fookin' miles!) and talking. When there are no other distractions to get you away from your problem, you have no choice but to face it.

 

It worked for us - we really opened up to each other, and ever since then we've been best mates, as well as husband and wife. :)

Hi. I will give you some advice mate but it will be pretty much the same as everyone else. As Astrassuck pointed out we are also going through a bad patch but it isn't all his doing. I have a low opinion of myself at the moment. But us women need our men to keep giving us attention. Just kiss her, cuddle her, be intimate (No I don't mean sex I mean caress her kiss her etc.). Tell her you love her, tell her she is beautiful and sexy. Show her how much you want to be with her. The problem may have nothing to do with you. Maybe work friends who knows? She will talk to you eventually but I disagree with my other half in that you shouldn't keep asking her whats up but I think you should initiate a chat.

 

Maybe she will open up, but tell her you are scared that the relationship will end and you need to know what is up to sort the problem or just support her. I don't know what else to say. But talking and taking the right action will help. But in the mean time just show her you are there and that you still love her.

 

HTH

may be you spend to much time on here instead of making her a cup of tea and cuddled up on the sofa,,just a thought because i take my computer in with me so she dont feel left out kind a thing

may be you spend to much time on here instead of making her a cup of tea and cuddled up on the sofa,,just a thought because i take my computer in with me so she dont feel left out kind a thing

Always the gentlemen ;)

 

We fight over the laptop as we don't have a network yet (another venture for after xmas as she has a laptop but we cannot split the i-net connection yet)!!

My 2p worth:

 

Don't try and "fix" it ... that's a very male thing to do. Women work differently and require a different approach. Communication is the key here. If she says it's not something you've done then there are likely to be worries external to your partnership - could be money, job (dis)sattisfaction, friends, family, children, etc, etc. You need to create an atmosphere where she feels "safe" to discuss what is bothering her. She need to know you're going to actively listen and talk through the issues and work towards a solution together. There is no point in repeatedly taking the "what's wrong" line as this will only aggrevate the situation. If she doesn't feel safe to discuss her troubles then they will only get worse.

 

As suggested, try and get away for a weekend to break the daily routine but don't expect to dive straight into deep discussions. Just be together, make a fuss of each other and enjoy your time together and the surroundings. Eventually her barriers will be lowered and the truth will come out. When that happens do not jump in with both feet and try to fix it - things are usually far more complicated than that. Show her you're really listening and make her feel that her troubles are your troubles and that you're looking to work things out together. By doing so she'll start to realise that she means everything to you and that you are committed to working things out with her - this is very important to women (in my experience).

 

I wish you both luck Mark, six years is a nice time to have together and it's not worth it to throw it all away because there was a breakdown in communications.

 

Dan

My 2p worth:

 

Don't try and "fix" it ... that's a very male thing to do. Women work differently and require a different approach. Communication is the key here. If she says it's not something you've done then there are likely to be worries external to your partnership - could be money, job (dis)sattisfaction, friends, family, children, etc, etc. You need to create an atmosphere where she feels "safe" to discuss what is bothering her. She need to know you're going to actively listen and talk through the issues and work towards a solution together. There is no point in repeatedly taking the "what's wrong" line as this will only aggrevate the situation. If she doesn't feel safe to discuss her troubles then they will only get worse.

 

As suggested, try and get away for a weekend to break the daily routine but don't expect to dive straight into deep discussions. Just be together, make a fuss of each other and enjoy your time together and the surroundings. Eventually her barriers will be lowered and the truth will come out. When that happens do not jump in with both feet and try to fix it - things are usually far more complicated than that. Show her you're really listening and make her feel that her troubles are your troubles and that you're looking to work things out together. By doing so she'll start to realise that she means everything to you and that you are committed to working things out with her - this is very important to women (in my experience).

 

I wish you both luck Mark, six years is a nice time to have together and it's not worth it to throw it all away because there was a breakdown in communications.

 

Dan

I think you;re in the wrong business Dan, considered marriage councselling as a vocation? ;):D

I think you;re in the wrong business Dan, considered marriage councselling as a vocation? ;):D

 

 

LOL! I've had my fair share of problems in the past and usually managed to work things out ... by "getting in touch with my feminine side" ... No jokes please ;)

 

Might give marriage counselling a go if DTA-Motorsport should fail ...

 

Cheers!

 

Dan

LOL! I've had my fair share of problems in the past and usually managed to work things out ... by "getting in touch with my feminine side" ... No jokes please ;)

 

Might give marriage counselling a go if DTA-Motorsport should fail ...

 

Cheers!

 

Dan

Yeah i can see where you're comming from there, sometimes you do have to turn into a softie to sort out these kind of problems.

 

One thing regarding your other post, the mrs doesn't agree with the whole going away idea with the reasoning being that it is a one off short term fix.

in my past experience i had the same thing and tried to "sort" things but eventually i stopped being nice and said no more and pointed to the door and said if you dont like it leave.

 

all stopped and been happy ever since.....well as happy as you can be getting it once a month on your usual married sex licence ;)

One thing regarding your other post, the mrs doesn't agree with the whole going away idea with the reasoning being that it is a one off short term fix.

 

Didn't mean that to be a "fix" really - it's just nice to have a break from the daily routine and have a change of scenery. A couple of days away can seem like a week and it's an excellent way to recharge batteries and gain a different perspective on things ... Sometimes it is useful to go to an unfamiliar place - away from familiar surroundings and home comforts - it takes every day chores and worries out of the equation (like having to do the washing up, collecting children from school, watering plants, etc).

 

However, every couple is different and what works for one may not work for another. Hopefully Mark and his partner know each other well enough to know what steps to take next.

 

Regards,

 

Dan

Absolutely, from what you said above it does make sense, and yes it will allow a different perspective to be taken on things. Women and men are two totally different entites at the end of the day, and its very similar to being tolerant of different cultures we have to be tolerant of each other. :)

I have been with my missus for 18 years and the saying for me is "cant live with them, cant kill them" :D

 

LOL yes you can......prob only get 5 years.......... :D :rofl: as you have done 18 you will find 5 ok..... ;)

My 2p worth:

 

Don't try and "fix" it ... that's a very male thing to do. Women work differently and require a different approach. Communication is the key here. If she says it's not something you've done then there are likely to be worries external to your partnership - could be money, job (dis)sattisfaction, friends, family, children, etc, etc. You need to create an atmosphere where she feels "safe" to discuss what is bothering her. She need to know you're going to actively listen and talk through the issues and work towards a solution together. There is no point in repeatedly taking the "what's wrong" line as this will only aggrevate the situation. If she doesn't feel safe to discuss her troubles then they will only get worse.

 

As suggested, try and get away for a weekend to break the daily routine but don't expect to dive straight into deep discussions. Just be together, make a fuss of each other and enjoy your time together and the surroundings. Eventually her barriers will be lowered and the truth will come out. When that happens do not jump in with both feet and try to fix it - things are usually far more complicated than that. Show her you're really listening and make her feel that her troubles are your troubles and that you're looking to work things out together. By doing so she'll start to realise that she means everything to you and that you are committed to working things out with her - this is very important to women (in my experience).

 

I wish you both luck Mark, six years is a nice time to have together and it's not worth it to throw it all away because there was a breakdown in communications.

 

Dan

 

Hi Danny

 

How can I get my DTA chip to fall in love with my zed........??? Have not had time to get them connected yet & I think they are drifting apart.... :D

LOL yes you can......prob only get 5 years.......... :D :rofl: as you have done 18 you will find 5 ok..... ;)

but 5 years afraid to pick up the soap in the shower and not having my Zed and GSXR :shock: :shock:

thanks guys

 

i think a break might be in order

 

gona try and get away just after xmas i think

 

think we do need time away, hopefully things will improve

 

we were in town on sat and i suggested to her that we get her some underwear, not a xmas present just sumthing nice for her

 

spent over 50 quid on a set for her

 

almost a week later she still has not wore it, always makes up excuses not too

 

i tell her i love her but u just get to the point where u cant really do any more without her making the effort :(:(:(