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Featured Replies

class.

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The link has been removed :confused:

This was mentioned on the forum where I found it. As far as I can tell it's still there, but I'll try and copy & paste it for you all :D

  • Author

-----Original Message-----

From: [mailto:*******

Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 9:50 AM

To: ******

Subject: ugh

 

Brad,

 

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I

feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I

am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the

people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person

that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all

for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all

of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can

handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even

handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't

handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird,

I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The

world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me,

there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I

don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping

that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also

hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds

totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant

role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally

strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior

didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you

hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a

terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say

or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that

fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever

imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my

life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

 

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you

won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for

getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at

your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be

great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel

like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it

was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I

really don't think I can handle that.

 

I am so sorry.

 

Elizabeth

 

The Reply:

-----Original Message-----

Sent: Monday, October 24, 2005 12:02 PM

Subject: Re: Ugh....enjoy.

 

Dear Elizabeth,

 

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L"

for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less

about".

 

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting

to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load

of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45

minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long

because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid

thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

 

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and

degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour

span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't ****

him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

 

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to

you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden

retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been

most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings

for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't

think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run

of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as

your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty

hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my

place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up

tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning

commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for

a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that

when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on

top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh

our heads off about the time it happened.

 

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class

you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs

you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little

like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

 

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

 

Talk to you never,

Brad

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