I was in a queue today in a department store. poor mother trying to explain to her 4/5 year old its not Christmas yet . he was holding a furry singing santa and pleading with her to take it home. then he spotted a big truck planted right near the cashdesk and started a tantrum,so she had to leave the queue and go leave the store.

 

I really am sick of this every year, it's not even halloween yet FFS.

 

It's not fair to kids or parents. I love Christmas but every year it loses it's magic. It will soon meet itself.

I was in Tesco today, and about 3 entire aisle where filled with Christmas stuff.

Correct me if im wrong, but I think our current view of Farder xxxmas :xxx: was created in the 1930's and is owned by disney :mac1:

 

Drives me up the wall when I go shopping and all you hear is whiny liitle kids bawling there eyes out coz muumy n daddy wont blow all there hard earned £££'s on apile of s**t that wont last 5 minutes....... :rant:

 

LOL, now look what you've done....you've got me started :rofl:

 

I can totally prove to you all that santa claus :mac1: does not exist.

 

My proof.........watch this space, I'll post it later today ;)

Just think about it...

 

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

 

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist cihldren, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

 

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seemes logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

 

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

 

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

 

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enourmous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second...each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

 

In conclusion -

If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

 

Later Folks!

 

Marc

Correct me if im wrong, but I think our current view of Farder xxxmas :xxx: was created in the 1930's and is owned by disney :mac1:

 

Drives me up the wall when I go shopping and all you hear is whiny liitle kids bawling there eyes out coz muumy n daddy wont blow all there hard earned £££'s on apile of s**t that wont last 5 minutes....... :rant:

 

LOL, now look what you've done....you've got me started :rofl:

 

I can totally prove to you all that santa claus :mac1: does not exist.

 

My proof.........watch this space, I'll post it later today ;)

 

lol, not Disney tho' - Coca-Cola!

 

Note the colours?

 

He was a German Mythological/Lengendary figure who was dressed in green, like an oversized pixie... who visited children on Christmas day to celebrate the 'Birthday' of 'Jesus' and give the good ones presents

 

Coca-Cola as a marketing gimmick siezed upon this and 're-branded' St Nicklaus' as a jovial old man in a red & white suite called Santa Claus.

pmsl at this thread who on earth ever believed in farter xmarse marc you theory is so funny

Try this for size, lol

 

www2.b3ta.com/merrychristmas

 

Enjoy :rofl:

and this one, lol

 

http://www.youthofbritain.com/chillout/

 

Enjoy :hyper:

Sorry

 

Bodged the paste for the link.

 

www2.b3ta.com/merrychristmas/

 

Enjoy :hyper:

So what are you saying....................?

 

There is no santa?

 

 

No! No! NO! I aint having it. so who brings all the presents then?

Just think about it...

 

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

 

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist cihldren, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

 

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seemes logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

 

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

 

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

 

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enourmous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second...each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

 

In conclusion -

If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

 

Later Folks!

 

Marc

 

Oh thats how he does it ?

:bow:

Did you know santa spells satan.....spooky eh.....or true.

 

However you do have a valid point.......whos gonna bring all my mods at xmas :confused: