Thought you guys might like this - sounds similar to some of the conversations that go on here, when us new arrivals log on!!!

 

General Motors doesnt have a helpline, but lets imagine they did.......

 

HELPLINE - GM Helpline how can I help you?

CUSTOMER - I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened.

HELPLINE - Did you put the key in the ignition slot & turn it?

CUSTOMER - Whats an ignition?

HELPLINE - Its a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.

CUSTOMER - Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car!

 

HELPLINE - GM How can I help you?

CUSTOMER - Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes and Twin Turbo.

HELPLINE - Thanks for buying our car how can I help you?

CUSTOMER - How do I work it?

HELPLINE - Do you know how to drive?

CUSTOMER - Do I know how to what????

HELPLINE - Do you know how to DRIVE?

CUSTOMER - I'm not a technical person!!! I just want to go places in my car!!!

 

 

HELPLINE - GM How can I help you?

CUSTOMER - My car ran fine for a week, and now it wont go anywhere.

HELPLINE - Is the petrol tank empty?

CUSTOMER - Huh? How do I know?

HELPLINE - Theres a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from E to F, wheres the needle pointing?

CUSTOMER - Its pointing to E what does that mean?

HELPLINE - It means you have to visit a petrol station and purchase some more petrol. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you.

CUSTOMER - What! I paid £20,000 for this car! Now, you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that has everything built in!

 

Di

 

LMAO

 

Class!!

 

Matty.

 

------------------

 

Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce...Bounce... (sorry no sound!) LOL

I own two Computer Retail outlets and I ALWAYS use the car/teach to drive - PC/Teach to operate analogy (In a nice way you understand)

I am printing that out for future use.

Absolute Class

Glen.

 

 

Pleased you like it - I saw it and it reminded me of the forum. There is another:

 

HELPLINE - GM Helpline how can i help you?

CUSTOMER - Your cars suck!

HELPLINE - Whats wrong?

CUSTOMER - It crashed! Thats what went wrong!

HELPLINE - What were you doing?

CUSTOMER - I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed - and now it wont start!

HELPLINE - Its your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?

CUSTOMER - I want you to send me one of the latest versions that doesnt crash anymore!!!

 

Enjoy!

Di

Muwhahahahahaha very good.

Do you know what PC stands for ?

Perpetually Complicated

Very APT 300Z! LOL