Its that time of year soon.......but who is this guy in red and has a white beard?? Some people say it's "Santa"; is it????

I believe in Santa..... :hyper:

I'd turn that away, i mean its white FFS!!

LOL, from what i can gather, it's just being loaded back on to

the trailer, 'cos its the WRONG colour, gonna take it back

& get a yella one! ;)

Santa Pod?

 

 

LMAO, nice one chunk :rofl:

yeah really funny harr harr

 

least mine didnt get delivered on the back of a pink lorry :rofl:

;)

Subject: Santa Claus

 

How The Engineers Can Spoil Christmas-

 

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the

world. However, since Santa does not usually visit children of Muslim,

Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for

Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the

population reference bureau).

 

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to

108 million homes presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the

different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to

west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child,

Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump

down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents

under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up

the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

 

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed

around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept

for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78

miles per household This results in a total trip of 75.5 million miles,

not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is

moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For

purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space

probe, and moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional

reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh

 

adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing

more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying

over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a

conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting

that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job

can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000

of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the

sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the

Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

 

600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air

resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a

spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer

would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In

short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the

reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a

second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his

trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of

accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be

subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which

seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by

4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and

reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

 

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: