Ben ladin in a new light

:

DATELINE- SOMEWHERE IN AFGHANASTAN (AP)

: Famed evil terrorist Osama bin Laden came out of the

: closet yesterday. In a statement to a Pakistani re-

: porter he stated that he was apprehensive about how

: his fellow hate-mongers and terrorists might react

: to the news, but he felt that he had to come out with

: it in light of the recent dissapearence of the lover

: he knew only as "Bruce."

:

: When word got out that Bruce disappeared with an at-

: tack by rival organization "The People's Front for

: Anti-American Revolutionary Terrorists," bin Laden expressed hope that perhaps Bruce was being well-

: treated.

:

: Unfortunately for Bruce and his former lover, Public

: Enemy Number One, PFAART was less kind than had been

: originally hoped.

:

: Osama was shocked.

:

: "I loved this penis," said bin Laden between

: sobs; "we had many good times together."

: Officials in the United States and around the world expressed hope that bin Laden would soon be joining

: Bruce in the afterlife.