Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.

Aileen - laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs

Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.

Amanda - I.Q. tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good shag though.

Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted.

Andrea - Small breasts, drinks pints.

Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found hanging around toilets.

Annabelle - Doesn't wear knickers.

Annette - She's BIG.

Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.

Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.

Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.

Beryl - Repressed alcoholic.

Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.

Bianca - Ginger.

Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.

Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.

Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.

Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.

Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears.

Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.

Claire - Usually neurotic, gives good head, can have lesbian tendencies.

Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.

Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.

Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.

Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.

Daisy - Virgin.

Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling.

Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.

Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.

Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.

DeeDee - cannot understand why no-one else masturbates in Ikea.

Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.

Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society.

Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.

Doris - Purple haired, stinks of wee.

Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths.

Elizabeth - Born to perform, hates chickens.

Ellie - Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.

Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.

Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!

Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass.

Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.

Faith - Legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.

Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim.

Felicity - She'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts.

Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head.

Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.

Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day.

Gaynor - Lesbian.

Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.

Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.

Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.

Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.

Georgina - Wants to be a man.

Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.

Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.

Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.

Helen - Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.

Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.

Hilary - Frigid.

Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.

Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.

Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.

Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child.

Janet - Massive over bite, no neck.

Jane - Babe, I'd drink her bath water.

Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.

Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.

Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.

Jessica - Virgin, always will be.

Joanne - Moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!

Judith - Big eyes, big tits

Judy - Huge tits, married to an arse

Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes

Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.

Julie - Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.

Karen - Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.

Kate - see Catherine.

Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.

Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a bloke, wears a wig.

Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.

Kylie - Can't sing but who cares.

Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.

Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.

Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive.

Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.

Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.

Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.

Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men.

Linda - Teenage bride, can swallow oranges whole.

Lindsey - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.

Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.

Liz - Long legged and brainey.

Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies

Louise/a - Likes to get around, saggy tits.

Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.

Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.

Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.

Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.

Maria - Bangs like a barn door.

Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.

Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.

Marolyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.

Martina - Ugly lesbian.

Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits.

Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.

Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.

Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.

Melissa - Eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.

Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.

Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.

Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.

Marsha - Big butt, small brain.

Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.

Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.

Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners.

Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.

Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.

Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.

Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.

Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.

Olga - You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair.

Olivia - Neutron bomb.

Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.

Pat - Butt ugly lesbian.

Paula - Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.

Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes men to be stiff.

Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.

Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.

Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.

Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.

Rose - Can be prickly, good head giver.

Rula - She measures up well.

Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up.

Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.

Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.

Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.

Sarah - Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.

Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.

Sharon - Shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.

Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.

Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.

Simone - Used to be a shotputter from Cardiff.

Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a "carrier"

Sophie - Brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.

Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.

Stella - Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.

Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.

Sue/Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave.

Tanya - Hot minx, too short.

Tara - Upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.

Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.

Tori - Lives in a hedge, can't water ski.

Tracy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.

Tracey - Lesbian.

Ursula - Likes puppies, in curry.

Vicky- Likes Yoga. And Women.

Wendy - Possibly a man.

Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.

:rofl: My missus is called donna, and yes.....she likes cabbage!! :x:

:nono: harsh but some are actually quite fitting to some people i know