Micheal Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1’s eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they’re rubbing each other and he’s come in his shorts."
Here is Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
Lorraine Kelly on GMTV: "This year’s hairstyle is called a shag and our resident stylist is here to give our model one."
Chris Tarrant was trying to help a female contestant name a famous motor-racing commentator. The answer was Murray Walker, so Chris said: "I’ll give you a clue. His name sounds like something hard that tastes good when you suck it." "Ah," she replied. "It must be Dickie Davies."
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards’ tyres on World Superbikes: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
Here is Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
Winning Post’s Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy’s formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
Beatrice Hillyer was discussing the availability of fresh water in Baghdad when she informed TV viewers: "Just after the liberation, I was getting it twice a day in my hotel room."
During the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie Benaud observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green."
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
Charlie Dimmock was helping Alan Titchmarsh with a tree stake on Ground Force. "How far am I in?" he asked. "About eight inches," Charlie replied. "But I need a few more inches."
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
Steve Cram covering the men’s 200 metres at the World Athletics Championships: "Pumping away, Marlon Devonish has got the Olympic Champion inside him."
Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."
Chain Letters host Allan Stewart was discussing a 6ft 5in contestant called Richard when he told two women competitors: "That’s enough Dick for both of you."
Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told Trude: "There’s something big growing between my legs."
Micheal Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1’s eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they’re rubbing each other and he’s come in his shorts."
Here is Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
Lorraine Kelly on GMTV: "This year’s hairstyle is called a shag and our resident stylist is here to give our model one."
Chris Tarrant was trying to help a female contestant name a famous motor-racing commentator. The answer was Murray Walker, so Chris said: "I’ll give you a clue. His name sounds like something hard that tastes good when you suck it." "Ah," she replied. "It must be Dickie Davies."
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards’ tyres on World Superbikes: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
Here is Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
Winning Post’s Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy’s formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
Beatrice Hillyer was discussing the availability of fresh water in Baghdad when she informed TV viewers: "Just after the liberation, I was getting it twice a day in my hotel room."
During the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie Benaud observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green."
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
Charlie Dimmock was helping Alan Titchmarsh with a tree stake on Ground Force. "How far am I in?" he asked. "About eight inches," Charlie replied. "But I need a few more inches."
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
Steve Cram covering the men’s 200 metres at the World Athletics Championships: "Pumping away, Marlon Devonish has got the Olympic Champion inside him."
Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."
Chain Letters host Allan Stewart was discussing a 6ft 5in contestant called Richard when he told two women competitors: "That’s enough Dick for both of you."
Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told Trude: "There’s something big growing between my legs."