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Gentlemen (and ladies), your best excuses please!

Ok people, we have a dilemma. Recently our friend who most of you will know as "Matt from Adder" or just in general, Matt Steele decided that he was going to take us out and show us how to drift. This has unfortunately ended up in "a really Gay crash, I wasn't going that fast." in Matt's own words. The front end of his 200sx has been stoved in and needs a bit of restoration, but here is where the dilemma lies.

 

Matt's mum is not going to be impressed with this story, so we need a great excuse for her. So far we have:

 

1) A small asian boy was picking cockles from the side of the East Lancashire Road and Matt didn't spot him until the last minute. How he missed it with Tooley's lardy ass bobbing up and down behind the asian boy we will never know but that's another story. He swerved to dodge this abomination of a scene and mashed the front end of the 200 into the central reservation.

 

2) A large lorry carrying asian immigrant children was spotted racing up the east lancs in the direction of Tooley's abode. Whilst this residence is currently under police surveillance for other crimes including various incidences involving sheep and other livestock, it seems crime does pay for Tooley. Quote from Hopper: "Thieving barsteward took a tenner from me last weekend!! Must have been to get an asian 10 doller sucky sucky but he reckoned it was to buy the lads a round. After being punished on the pool table, he legged it , sharpish, only to be seen with aforementioned asian child." Anyway, back to the excuse, Matt was following said truck when a cockleshell burst the offside rear tyre of the truck, blowing the outer right tyre across the carriageway which Matt swerved thinking it was Tooley again, blowing a small child instead. This resulted in a nasty issue with the Armco in the centre of the Lancs which we have found to be seriously bast*rdlike. Hopper quote: "Matt, is it driveable?" Matt quote: "No but I can drive it back to the unit."

 

Please help as this matter needs to be resolved with some urgency.

 

Hopper.

Featured Replies

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How about a truck delivering Tooley's pies spilled its load in front of you. 220 people dead and 130 still missing

cheers jonny, but i did the only thing any self respecting man could do.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and told her the clutch went and i have to wait for one to come into stock so i can drive it again :D

lol you still trying to emulate my drifting and doughnut skills then matt.....yet again more ginger talk about his fetish for young asian boys.......like pauls answer though lol...i could just eat a few pies now

How about: While driving towards GPS he spotted Johhny at the side of the road, dreaming of young asian boys as usual. Blinded by the glare from his hair he lost control & kissed Armco :D

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