Once there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory. He

>was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself.

>Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth.

>The

>scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone

>clean

>up his language.

>He got so tired of the clone's language that one day he pushed him off the

>end of a cliff. A policeman rushed up to him, and yelled "You are under

>arrest!

>You are under arrest!"

>"What for?" the mad scientist asked. "Murder? Or would that be suicide?"

>And the policeman's answer was, "Neither. It's for making an obscene clone

>fall."

 

...............................................................................................

Three Drunk Men had a very late night drinking. They left in the early

>morning hours and went home their separate ways.

>

>The next day, they all met and compared notes about who

>was drunker the night before. The first man claims that he was the

>drunkest,

>saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got

>through the door I blew chunks for 10 minutes.

>

>"The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell I

>got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't

>even

>have insurance!"

>

>The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by

>far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my wife,

>knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"

>The room was silent for a moment.

>

>Then, the first man spoke out again, " Listen men, I don't think you

>understand..... Chunks is my dog."

 

>..............................................................................

>.............

>Little ten-year-old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle, a

>wealthy

>Hampshire farm owner.

>One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with

>cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of-breath Freddie who shouts out,

>"Uncle

>John! Come quick! The bull is f***ing the cow!"

>Uncle John is highly embarrassed by his nephew's language and, taking young

>Freddie aside, explains

>that a certain amount of decorum is required. "You should have said, 'The

>bull is surprising the cow' - not some filth that you've picked up in the

>playground," he says.

>A few days later, Freddie comes in again as his aunt and uncle are

>entertaining. "Uncle John! The bull

>is surprising the cows!"

>The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle John says, "Thank you, Freddie, but

>surely you meant to say the cow, not cows. A bull cannot 'surprise' more

>than

>one cow at a time, you know."

>"Yes, he can!" replies his obstinate nephew. "He's f***ing the horse!"

 

 

 

:D

Dave

ROFL Dave :D

Thanx Dave just made aboring morning @ work worth getting up 4

cheers

Dave :D :D :D