Especially for Dave W................,

 

A businessman is on a trip in Japan. at the end of the meeting, the Japanese managers say: 'thank you for your help in this project, if you would like to return to your hotel room, we have arranged some company for you this evening'. The businessman thanks his collagues and returns to his room where he finds a young Japanese woman ready and waiting. He switches the light off and gets on with it. After a while, the Japanses woman starts to groan and shouts (what the businessman understands as) Push Harder! So, not one to disappoint, he pushes harder. The woman continues to shout Push Harder! Push Harder! until the businessman is doing it so hard that he exhausts himself.

 

The next day, the businessman is enjoying a round of golf with his Japanese colleagues. He hits the ball and watches it. 'Push Harder!' the Japanese man shouts. 'I beg you pardon?' asks the businessman. 'Push Harder!' the Japanese man says 'it means Wrong Hole!'

 

:D

And so as not to put endless number of posts on here.............,

 

 

 

A little boy about 12 years old walked down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have s*x with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it".

 

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any venereal diseases?" Of course the Madam said No. He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber.

THAT'S the girl I want". Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the cynical Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed amphibian behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"

 

He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have s*x with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the Dose that I just caught. When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the

baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll give her one in the car and he'll catch the dose. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mum will go to bed and have s*x, and Mum will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and catch the clap, and HE'S the b***ard I want to get ....

 

'cos he ran over my FROG!"

 

:D

And another one....................,

 

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here

in heaven ...don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman

accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as

the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not

wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... very tall,tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains

them together without saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" And the guy says,

"Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck.

 

 

 

:D :D

LOL!! Class!:D

ROFL :D