Speeding Ticket

>

> While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10 mph over the

> limit).

>

> I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other

> side

> laying in wait.

>

> The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic

> patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's the hurry?"

>

> To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

>

> Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

>

> "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

>

> The cop was amazed and stammered , "A

> what? A rectum stretcher? And just

> what does a rectum stretcher do?"

>

> "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up

> to

> two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in work side

> to

> side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but

> surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

>

> And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

>

> To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind

> a

> bridge..."

>

> Traffic ticket

> > $95.00

> Court costs: $45.00

> The look on the cop's face: Priceless

PMSL:D :D :D