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NZR: Bad joke !


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Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from the

pub. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and

freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the

silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat

sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange

noise.......

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the

driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into

his road.

 

 

 

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

 

 

 

He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box

approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more

clearly....It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he

put his head down and started walking briskly home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking

faster.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........BUMP.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........BUMP.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........BUMP........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but

he heard the coffin speed up after him......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was

only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out

his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived

inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front

room,

and

slumped into his comfy chair.

Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way

through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock

off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges

 

it continued its chase.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs

could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the

door........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

 

 

 

 

 

 

The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and

launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the

bathroom door flew off its hinges..... The coffin stood in the

doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his

bathroom cabinet...... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and

threw it at the coffin.......still it came ........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ........still it

came......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He grabbed some Benelyn cough mixture and threw it........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The coffin stopped.

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