The return of some old jokes..

Crossing the border into Essex at the weekend reminded me of the following:

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An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter.

"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.

"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."

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An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?

Girl: OK?

Medic: What's your name?

Girl: Tracy

Medic: OK Tracy, is this your car?

Tracy: Yes

Medic: Where are you bleeding from?

Tracy: Bloody Romford, mate

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An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.

It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, Tracey, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!

It's not just one car! said the Essex girl, There's hundreds of them!?

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(When they cancelled my work permit and threw me out of the county, one of my leaving presents was the Essex Girl Joke Book by Ray Leigh and Brent Wood!)

Cheers - Gio