How To Shower Like A Woman:

 

 

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper

according to lights and darks.

 

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see

your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed

flesh and rush to bathroom.

 

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out

your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about

how you're getting fat.

 

4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth,

long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

 

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo

with 83 added vitamins.

 

6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo

with 83 added vitamins.

 

7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner

enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen

minutes.

 

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes

until red raw.

 

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body

wash.

 

10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes

as you must make sure that it has all come off).

 

11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide

to get it waxed instead.

 

12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and

you lose the water pressure.

 

13. Turn off shower.

 

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with

Ajax.

 

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African

country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

 

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with

nails/tweezers if found.

 

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

 

18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any

exposed flesh and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half

getting dressed.

 

How To Shower Like A Man:

 

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave

them in a pile on the floor.

 

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along

the way, flash her your tackle making the "woo" sound.

 

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to

see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your manhood in the

mirror, scratch your privates and smell your fingers for one last

whiff.

 

4. Get in the shower.

 

5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one)

 

6. Wash your face.

 

7. Wash your armpits.

 

8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.

 

9. Wash your privates and surrounding area.

 

10. Wash your bum, leaving hair on the soap bar.

 

11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner)

 

12. Make a shampoo Mohawk on top of your head.

 

13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror.

 

14. Pee (in the shower).

 

15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the

floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the bath the

whole

time.

 

16. Partial dry off.

 

17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire manhood

size.

 

18. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.

 

19. Leave bathroom and fan light on.

 

20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass

your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your privates, go "Yeah

baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.

 

21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.

 

 

This is sooo true! LOL!

lol

 

allthough there are more steps for a man to have a shower, so I think it must be flawed ;)