Gents i know i posted something a while ago about my ex but i despretally need some advice if its ok to ask, i do realize this is a zed forum but people here are really friendly and helpfull and have been there for me many times

so if its ok to ask ill carry on :sad:

Gents again thank you so much for your support, well as I suspected I just got a text off her saying no point in going over saying what's been has been and to move on and stop contacting another

As gutted as I was I replied saying that I wanted the same thing wanted closure and to move on with my life I said i only wanted to see her as I wanted to finish on good terms and then said ill delete your number and for you to delete mine and I ent do anything eith you again,

She text back saying done deal and sure ill be happy

Part of me says cut all ties she will miss me in the end and be the one to contact as now she will see me gone for a long time

The other is to well and truly forget about her and move on pass my bike test and get the Porsche one thing I need to ask though should I wave when she passes or ignore her ?

Gents again thank you so much for your support, well as I suspected I just got a text off her saying no point in going over saying what's been has been and to move on and stop contacting another

As gutted as I was I replied saying that I wanted the same thing wanted closure and to move on with my life I said i only wanted to see her as I wanted to finish on good terms and then said ill delete your number and for you to delete mine and I ent do anything eith you again,

She text back saying done deal and sure ill be happy

Part of me says cut all ties she will miss me in the end and be the one to contact as now she will see me gone for a long time

The other is to well and truly forget about her and move on pass my bike test and get the Porsche one thing I need to ask though should I wave when she passes or ignore her ?

 

It's for the best mate.

 

As for your question - only wave back if you feel you should out of politeness. You should hopefully be too pre-occupied to notice her passing by. But if you do spot her, then unless she waves at you, just let her pass.

 

She needs to get the message you're not interested anymore!

 

Be strong mate - and good luck. We're all behind you!

 

Richard:cool2:

Gents again thank you so much for your support, well as I suspected I just got a text off her saying no point in going over saying what's been has been and to move on and stop contacting another

As gutted as I was I replied saying that I wanted the same thing wanted closure and to move on with my life I said i only wanted to see her as I wanted to finish on good terms and then said ill delete your number and for you to delete mine and I ent do anything eith you again,

She text back saying done deal and sure ill be happy

Part of me says cut all ties she will miss me in the end and be the one to contact as now she will see me gone for a long time

The other is to well and truly forget about her and move on pass my bike test and get the Porsche one thing I need to ask though should I wave when she passes or ignore her ?

 

If I were you I would just sail past in your Porsche and let her watch you and wonder. Keen your chin up and maintain your dignity. Sorry it didn't work out for you but you will move on in time and when that deep hurt has faded you WILL look back and wonder why on earth you tolerated her behaviour and what you saw in her. Infatuation is awful because it feels so much like love, but it really isn't, as its an unequal relationship. Real love, when you find it, is give and take, rough times with the smooth and sharing things totally. I promise you, you are better off on your own for now, and when you are least expecting it, you'll meet someone. And of course there is always lots of fun to be had out there whilst you're enjoying singledom :whistling:

If I were you I would just sail past in your Porsche and let her watch you and wonder. Keen your chin up and maintain your dignity. Sorry it didn't work out for you but you will move on in time and when that deep hurt has faded you WILL look back and wonder why on earth you tolerated her behaviour and what you saw in her. Infatuation is awful because it feels so much like love, but it really isn't, as its an unequal relationship. Real love, when you find it, is give and take, rough times with the smooth and sharing things totally. I promise you, you are better off on your own for now, and when you are least expecting it, you'll meet someone. And of course there is always lots of fun to be had out there whilst you're enjoying singledom :whistling:

 

Amen to that Jane!!

 

Some wise words there......

 

Richard:cool3:

Janus you are absolutley right it was infatuation i can admit that to my self now, i am gutted but i have to be strong and move on, get my 911 and pass my bike test then she will see that i am better than all the wasters that she messes with, then hopefully when she reallises she will come crawling back but by then i will be a better person stronger more confident and be able to say " sorry but you had your chance " only thing is for me is that she passes the house and i dont think i need to wave do i really, god i wish i could just move house then there would be no bother at all,

 

gents and ladies i did post this up on two relationship forums as i didnt want to be a pain on here but i got next to no responses on there, and on here a wealth of very good advice, strong and deffinetly made me see sense,

 

im not the strongest of persons i am very very soft in the heart and that is my greatest downfall

 

a Massive thank you to you all without your kind words i would have never had the bottle to have sent that reply to her

Janus you are absolutley right it was infatuation i can admit that to my self now, i am gutted but i have to be strong and move on, get my 911 and pass my bike test then she will see that i am better than all the wasters that she messes with, then hopefully when she reallises she will come crawling back but by then i will be a better person stronger more confident and be able to say " sorry but you had your chance " only thing is for me is that she passes the house and i dont think i need to wave do i really, god i wish i could just move house then there would be no bother at all,

 

gents and ladies i did post this up on two relationship forums as i didnt want to be a pain on here but i got next to no responses on there, and on here a wealth of very good advice, strong and deffinetly made me see sense,

 

im not the strongest of persons i am very very soft in the heart and that is my greatest downfall

 

a Massive thank you to you all without your kind words i would have never had the bottle to have sent that reply to her

 

Just a tip, but if you know the times she passes your house, make specific plans to be elsewhere or busy yourself with something at those times - and do that every day for a fortnight. Because apparently it takes a fortnight to make or break a habit and she is exactly that, a bad habit. Stop torturing yourself - she'll never come crawling back because she's shallow and selfish. So remove those ideas in your head of any payback, because the best payback for you will be moving on, healing your heart and realising you wasted to much time already - and you will find a lovely girl who appreciates all of who you are

x

Hey there, happy to see you`re making positive steps, onwards and upwards!

dont be too keen mate, she'l back of again, be cool but get your feelings accross.

In my opinion if a relationship didnt work the first time around & you have been apart for this long it is unlikely to ever work again!

 

Get out there & have some fun, go out with mates, meet other people, just have a laugh & you will soon move on.

 

With regards to the tattoo, I wouldnt pay to have it removed as has been suggested - just find another girl with the same name!! LOL! :thumbup:

 

I got divorved a few years back & decided not to get into any serious relationships. Was out with my mates having a laugh, out in the zed in the summer, went on a few holidays with mates - Ibiza, Poland - had a blast!

 

Ended up meeting someone when I really wasnt looking for anything & am still together now & wouldnt want to be with anyone else.

 

If you have to keep on trying to force something like this it wont ever happen - relax, enjoy life & you will find someone just when you least expect it :)

 

Paul.

In my opinion if a relationship didnt work the first time around & you have been apart for this long it is unlikely to ever work again!

 

Get out there & have some fun, go out with mates, meet other people, just have a laugh & you will soon move on.

 

With regards to the tattoo, I wouldnt pay to have it removed as has been suggested - just find another girl with the same name!! LOL! :thumbup:

 

I got divorved a few years back & decided not to get into any serious relationships. Was out with my mates having a laugh, out in the zed in the summer, went on a few holidays with mates - Ibiza, Poland - had a blast!

 

Ended up meeting someone when I really wasnt looking for anything & am still together now & wouldnt want to be with anyone else.

 

If you have to keep on trying to force something like this it wont ever happen - relax, enjoy life & you will find someone just when you least expect it :)

 

Paul.

 

Another example here Dewi of meeting someone new when you least expect it. See - it does happen mate. I also used to look out of the window when I knew my ex would be likely to pass, but I now realise that was a huge mistake and only made me feel miserable and empty inside - don't do it, you're just torturing yourself and there is nothing positive to be gained by doing so. Sounds like you need a holiday with the lads this summer if you ask me. I went to LA and Vegas with some mates after my break up and met up with some really nice people there. It changed my perspective on life and my ex seemed like a microcosmic problem in a very sad place afterwards!

Thanks dave im an absolute disaster with women, so im going for a hypnotherapy session in may to get her out of my system hope this will work out and not like the guy who hypnotised the rugby team on stage, dropped his mike and said f**k me, what happned next will haunt me forever lol,

hope your keeping well dave long time

This kind of thread makes this forum so great. Most of the people on here are sincere, honest and decent people, and not only is that a credit to the club but also reflects brilliantly on our beloved Zs.

 

Dewi - I wish you all the best and the advice on here is spot on. You have your whole life in front of you, and you will be amazed at how much goodness is just round the corner. Have faith and move on; you will look back in a few months/years and wonder what all the fuss was about. Also, there's nothing better than doing a bit of travelling to put everything in to perspective.

Some very basic points here:

 

a) if she wants you she'll make it obvious, if she doesn't make it obvious then she doesn't and is either not interested or is playing you as she likes the attention.

 

b) don't waste your time 'getting over' somebody, yes you can feel sad and lonely at times, but use your energy to get out there and find somebody else who likes you for who you are

 

c) don't waste time/money going to see therapists, just take a step back for a second and look at yourself in a positive light - dont be so self concious. If you've had a decent gf once that proves you can have another. It sounds easy but just suck it up and be a man about this - get out there, don't be sat inside like a reculse all the time (that's fine once you're taken ;) ) as lots of people are doing now. Get out there and find somebody else.

 

d) I know this sounds really cheap, but if you've got a situation where you CANT get a girl out of your mind for an extended period, there is one answer... you need to go out and have a night of fun ;)

 

e) Do NOT long after a lost love, it's a MASSIVE turn off for a girl and will be picked up by other girls, it's a huge indicator of no confidence. Variety is the spice of life mate don't dwindle on the past- you can make your future a beautiful place to be :)

Just had a read of all of this and you know what kinda been there many years ago.

 

Split up could not cope without her.

Chased her all over town but just made it worse.

Would position myself in places I knew she would be.

Let her use me for lifts, favours, etc.

Bought a porsche (Honestly 944) in the hope it would impress her.

Went out in Porsche and pulled her best mate

Saw her for two weeks and ex begged for me to take her back.

told her where to go and lived on my own for a fun filled 2 years

before meeting the women I am now married to and have been with over 16 years.

 

Honestly mate what you are writing could be me from all those years ago

GET OUT THERE AND AMONG PEOPLE its the best medicine in the world.

Dude!... I was just about to write about the same thing Mick1!! except for the "took the time to read 5 pages of threads bit"

 

I had a similiar situ in '94 just out of University. My girlfriend of 3 years... who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with... moved to SanFrancisco and immediate fell for one of her new roommates ( Cannabalism! is never pretty ).

 

I spent a year chasing after her like like a heart-broken puppy.... and she lapped up the attention like no-ones business. Clever "heartfelt" gifts, splurging on a trip etc..

 

Finally, I realized I was 'the mug'. Then, started being very strategic about what I said... Lengthened the Intervals In which I communicated, only talked about how much fun I was having... trying to be soo cool... guess what... I started to believe it myself! I got sponsored as a snowboarder, started making a little wedge, met a London girl at a Snowboard competition and dated her for 2 years...

 

and guess what??

My ex flew to Vegas to try and shag me senseless into getting back with her. the night before my "now wife of 13 years" flew into town. Needless to say (*I didn't shag her btw) 13 yrs later I still get "take me back" sort of messages on my birthday each year.

 

MATE>> GET over with it. She's with someone else, or at least playing games with your mind.

Take stock in yourself, and the fact it is her loss.

 

It will suck, big time. You will have trouble sleeping. You will think about her a lot and you will have more troubles sleeping. You will feel Sad :( = reality.

 

Reality is that it usually takes anywhere from 6 months - 15 months to really get over a first love. and as soon as she thinks you are getting over it.... like when she's driving by and knows you aren't saying Hi and Calling... she will come back to try and put a spell on you.

 

It's Textbook... and your comments on it ( I only read 1st page ) are textbook as well. k

 

Therapy!!!??? dude, c'mon... get a grip on yourself and get out of her sphere..

Take up a new Sport/hobby and literally sink yourself into it.. ( An active sport hobby that challenges you.. i.e. Not Computer Games! )

 

.... If I were you... I'd get pissed off that she's in a complicated situ with another dude... that would be excess emotional Baggage for me... and not worth further pursuit. I know this will sound very superficial, but Go find some fresh produce that others haven't been man-handling ;)

 

We are One and Only's, after all, and deserve better !! At least should think so, in your own mind!!!!

 

 

 

Just had a read of all of this and you know what kinda been there many years ago.

 

Split up could not cope without her.

Chased her all over town but just made it worse.

Would position myself in places I knew she would be.

Let her use me for lifts, favours, etc.

Bought a porsche (Honestly 944) in the hope it would impress her.

Went out in Porsche and pulled her best mate

Saw her for two weeks and ex begged for me to take her back.

told her where to go and lived on my own for a fun filled 2 years

before meeting the women I am now married to and have been with over 16 years.

 

Honestly mate what you are writing could be me from all those years ago

GET OUT THERE AND AMONG PEOPLE its the best medicine in the world.

Edited April 14, 201114 yr by Boomin33

Well i realise im not alone in this situation and im glad you have been in the same boat as me :hang:

 

but your all right time to move on and show her what she is going to miss out, she will be dating loosers while i will be enjoying myself :taz:

 

So a plan needs to formed :sorcerer: and this is it so far see what you guys think,

 

1. porsche 911 cabriolet 996 black with my new number plate on it DEW1 4P ( my name is dewi ap thomas so couldnt belive when i got the number from dvla im sure it will look awsome )

 

2. Pass my motorbike test direct access and get a cbr 600 have been offerd a ducati 600ss but are they unreliable?

 

3. port rush in belfast 23rd may on the motorbikes pillion to watch the racing

 

4. paint the house pebble dash:ohmy: so a big job but it will stand out when she passes

 

5. hipnotherapy session in may see if that works

 

6. get out as much as possible chester races, zed meetings, bike meetings, blackpool with the lads from work

 

7. concentrate hard on my katate kickboxing im up to green belt from yesterday and i find it hard to learn katas

 

so what do you think of the plan so far? i dont really want to go out town where i live as she may be out and i really dont want to bump into her or see her with someone else

 

any help with the bike learning or karate or even help to paint the house will be greatly appreceated :taz:

one thing to remember mate, you do these things for yourself because you want to do them, not to piss her off otherwise everything you do still has to do with her

 

if the plan is to keep yourself busy to forget or miove on then great plan mate

 

all the best for the future mate

Well i realise im not alone in this situation and im glad you have been in the same boat as me :hang:

 

but your all right time to move on and show her what she is going to miss out, she will be dating loosers while i will be enjoying myself :taz:

 

So a plan needs to formed :sorcerer: and this is it so far see what you guys think,

 

1. porsche 911 cabriolet 996 black with my new number plate on it DEW1 4P ( my name is dewi ap thomas so couldnt belive when i got the number from dvla im sure it will look awsome )

 

2. Pass my motorbike test direct access and get a cbr 600 have been offerd a ducati 600ss but are they unreliable?

 

3. port rush in belfast 23rd may on the motorbikes pillion to watch the racing

 

4. paint the house pebble dash:ohmy: so a big job but it will stand out when she passes

 

5. hipnotherapy session in may see if that works

 

6. get out as much as possible chester races, zed meetings, bike meetings, blackpool with the lads from work

 

7. concentrate hard on my katate kickboxing im up to green belt from yesterday and i find it hard to learn katas

 

so what do you think of the plan so far? i dont really want to go out town where i live as she may be out and i really dont want to bump into her or see her with someone else

 

any help with the bike learning or karate or even help to paint the house will be greatly appreceated :taz:

 

Your number 3 bullet point must be the NW 2000 one of the worlds greatest road race:thumbup:

http://www.northwest200.org/

Edited April 14, 201114 yr by Gaz 300
got my dates wrong

read this today and thought it could be quite relevant to your situation

 

Quote of the day: "Never make someone your priority, when they only make you an option."

Your number 3 bullet point must be the NW 2000 one of the worlds greatest road race:thumbup:

http://www.northwest200.org/

 

The very one im going to watch will you be there matey :)

The very one im going to watch will you be there matey :)

 

No mate I havent been in years as I never seam to have the time but maybe one year:yes:

Alan is so spot on, sorry but I get the feeling you have plans to show her what she's missed out on, so the point is still about proving something to her. It's about you mate so that should be your only concern in anything you do, her reactions should have no consequence what so ever!!!!

 

And if you ever feel low or feel like texting her, post on here before you do ;)

 

Vijay

Alan is so spot on, sorry but I get the feeling you have plans to show her what she's missed out on, so the point is still about proving something to her. It's about you mate so that should be your only concern in anything you do, her reactions should have no consequence what so ever!!!!

 

And if you ever feel low or feel like texting her, post on here before you do ;)

 

Vijay

 

uh oh am i that transparent? i can be read like a book cant i? difficult i know but its the feeling i want of her wanting me and i can hold my head high and say no, i do seriously need to move on dont i and forget :whistling:

Mate, we've all been there and for me, I'm just coming out of the other end from a situation a bit like yours. After years she's contacting me but I'm just not bothered anymore. It's true what people have said, time allows you to see the bad stuff as the rose tinted glases fade ;)

 

You will get there cos you seam like a decent bloke but it's just not worth playing any mind games along the way cos they always backfire...................

one thing to remember mate, you do these things for yourself because you want to do them, not to piss her off otherwise everything you do still has to do with her

 

if the plan is to keep yourself busy to forget or miove on then great plan mate

 

all the best for the future mate

 

Very true mate!

 

Dewi, I'd add this above "point 1" on your list.....

 

ATB

 

Richard:chef: