A major flood hit on Monday evening .

 

Epicentre: Rotherham, England.

 

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000 racing

pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering

"fookinhell" and "chuffinnorah".

 

The flood decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several

priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish

Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out

cars were disturbed.

 

Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio station

RotherFM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered,

still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had

happened in Rotherham. One resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon

Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came

running into my bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm

slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the

next morning". Locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings

and car crime carried on as normal.

 

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of

Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals,

rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of

personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke

at Argos, and bone china from Pound-stretcher.

 

Can You Help?

 

Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the

victims of this disaster.

 

Clothing is needed most of all, especially:

· Fila or Burberry baseball caps

· Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)

· Shell suits (female)

· White sports socks

· Rockfort boots or any other product sold in Primark

 

 

Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your

efforts will make a difference.

 

Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or

Special Brew are ideal.

 

 

Please do not give anything that requires peeling.

 

Remember:

· 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims

· £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9

· £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves

 

Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells

 

Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such posh housing will

cause residents to beleive they have been forcebly relocated to Sheffield.

Kind regards,

 

 

Keith

YUP SAW THAT 3 YEARS AGO ONLY THE EPICENTRE WAS bARNSLEY BACK THEN

 

FUNNY ALL THE SAME

Yes it always does the rounds :D

I had it as Worksop as well :duffer:

The streets of Sheffield echoed today to cries of " Super, Smashing, Great" as Bulleye's October 1986 Speedboat winners finally got a chance to use the fooker....